
— 









Copyright N° 


COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 











THE CHEER CHIRPERS 





Philli was all under but 17,000 eyes and one foot. 
With his 17,000 eyes, he saw rope , and with his 
one foot he clutched it — and Philli was saved. 





THE 

CHEER CHIRPERS 


BY 

JOSHUA F. CROWELL 



THE PILGRIM PRESS 

BOSTON NEW YORK CHICAGO 




16 


.3 

.Q'ztk 

a 


COPYRIGHT, 1913 
BY LUTHER H. CARY 



THE'PLIMPTON'PRESS 

KOIWOOD'MASS'U'S'A 





357132 


TO MY WIFE 

FELLOW TRAVELLER THRO THE WILDING WONDERLAND 

When nights are long and days are drear , 

Cheer ! Cheer ! Cheer up ! Good cheer I 
When hearts are sad , or filled with fear , 

Cheer 1 Cheer ! Cheer up l Good cheer / 

For each beginning , well begun — 

Cheer l 

For every task that's better done — 

Cheer 1 

For merry play, or healthful fun — 

Cheer , cheer, cheer ! I 
For every thing, and every one — 

Cheer ! 

CHEER!! 

CHEER!!! 


Some of the chapters in this hook have already 
appeared in The Youth's Companion , and The Chil- 
drens' Magazine and are reprinted here by courtesy 
of the editors of those publications. 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 

The Cheer Chirpers 1 

Til Tee’s Tale 19 

Ummie Tink 29 

Homer Hummer, W.D., S.B 43 

Shuffle on, Shem! 63 

The Adventures of Philli Fliflit 73 

Wee and Bee 85 

Miss Merrie Moth 101 

Toodle, the Poodle 107 

In an Apple 113 

Chuffy’s Mishap 119 

Peep Peep 135 

Tippie’s Vacation 141 

The Sea Circus — A Punny Story 159 

Mew-Sings by Joppy 171 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


PAGE 

Philli was all under but 17,000 eyes and one foot. 

With his 17,000 eyes, he saw rope, and with 
his one foot he clutched it — and Philli was 

saved Frontispiece S/' 

When danger threatens, make your best “ Quick- 
sit.” The enemy will take you for a stone, or 

stick 25 

The Hither Heather Hornet Home 53 

But their mother called them for the third les- 
son, — to the dam, and showed them how to 


place the wood, and weave with twigs until 

it stood 91 

“Chuffy,” he said severely, “let us have no non- 
sense while we are doing all in our power to 

set you free” 127 

The din should be magnified 600 times 129 

The Sea Circus 163 



THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


Oh, listen here, and hear the Year's Good Cheer 



Chirpter I 


“^^(HEER UP! CHEER UP!” cried 
I Kizzy Cricket, as, with mother 

and brother, she ran to the thicket. 
“I can’t cheer, either up or down,” sighed 
Mother Ketura. 


“ ’ Tis the twentieth time , in the middle of night , 
We have had to leave home , in a state of great fright; 

For the Whizzy Buzz monster , a-blaze with light , 
It comes — puff ! — It's gone ! 1 don't like it a mite ! 

“Here is Baby Ki, all ready to cry, and 
Dicky tumbled and thumped his thigh, and 
ran I so fast, I am almost dizzy.” 

“Oh! mother, cheer up! cheer up!” cried 
Kizzy. 

“Cheer up!” said Dick. 

“Chee-yup!” echoed Baby Ki. 



4 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


“My dears, I don’t feel like cheering; 
down , I never learned, and up, I couldn’t now, 
for I feel so sorry to leave my old home. My 
grandfather Selick Cricket built the nice 
grass villa we have just left, many years ago, 
in what was then the finest part of Road 
Town, between Wheel-rut Lane, and Horse- 
path Street. I lived there as a child, and 
loved to see the gentle horses and teams go 
over my head, as all cosy I lay, tucked up in 
bed. Now — how times have changed! The 
horses are gone, and instead, it is all Whizzy 
Buzz, so loud and so proud, so red and so 
dread! 

I live in a state of perpetual worry , 

For any minute , in a fuss and a flurry , 

I may have to move from my home in a hurry?’ 

“Mother,” said Kizzy, “we are safe now, 
no Whizzy Buzz could get thro this thicket; 
let us five here, and mother — cheer up — 
do cheer!” 

“My dear, I will cheer now,” said Mother 
Ketura. “ Children, this is your new home; 
as we have only ourselves to move, we are 
already moved, so you can all go to bed. 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


5 


Kizzy — you shall take the Bergamont bed; 
and Dick — this Beggar-tick tick; and I 
will put Ki into this Chickweed Crib.” 

“ Mother,” said Kizzy, “before we go to 
sleep, may we sing ‘Cheer up’?” 

“Yes!” 

Then the three little ones sang: — 

“ Cheer up! 

If wet or dry; 

If cloudy sky , 

Cry , Crickets , cry — 

Cheer up ! 

In night or day , 

In work or play , 

Say, Crickets , say, 

Cheer up ! ! 

For fall or spring, 

For everything ! 

Sing, Crickets, sing! 

Cheer up !!!” 

Just one minute after the song was ended, 
Sleep came for the three little ones. Mother 
Ketura tucked Dick into his Beggar-tick 
tick, and then went to sleep with one eye on 
Kuldi Ki. 


6 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


Chirpter II 

Crunch-munch-crunch-munch ! 

Smash-crash ! 

“ Skip, children, for your lives! Don’t stop 
for anything! Follow me! Hop!! This 
way ! ! ! Hurry ! ! ! ! Most there III Hill Here 
we are, at Stump Castle; go in, my dears, 
thro this knot-hole gate. Now we are safe 
again — I hope!” 

“What was it?” cried Dicky; “another 
Whizzy Buzz?” 

“No, of course not,” said Kizzy, dancing 
about from rafter to rafter, and filling the 
old Stump Hall with her laughter. “It ate 
my Bergamont bed, and chewed Kuldi Ki’s 
Chickweed crib; no Whizzy Buzz could do 
that!” 

“Mother, what was it?” asked Dick. 

“I think,” answered Mrs. Ketura, “it was 
a Chow!” 

“What’s a Chow?” 

“Dick,” said Kizzy, “you are an ig-no-ra- 
cricket-mus! A great Cricket, seven weeks 
old, and don’t know what a Chow is! I will 
tell you. A Chow is an animal that chews 
what it chooses.” 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


7 


“ I think,” said Mother Ketura, “this Chow 
meant no harm to us ; it happened to choose 
our new home to chew; but, for us, it is very 
unpleasant to be chewed out of bed in the 
middle of the night by any Chow. However, 
as we escaped safely, and are already moved 
into a new home, we may as well — ” 

“Cheer up!” said Kizzy. 

“Cheer up!” said Dick. 

“Chee-yup,” echoed Baby Ki. 

“This,” continued the mother, “is the 
Trim-Tree-Trunk, Stump-Castle, with crack 
rooms, cosy and comfortable. Here we will 
abide, and fear no Whizzy Buzz, nor Chew- 
ing Chow. Kizzy shall sleep in the Best 
Back Bark Parlor; Dick — take this Knot 
Cot, and Kuldi Ki shall lie high and dry, on 
this Chopped-chip-in-the-dale Couch.” 

“Mother, may we sing ‘Cheer up’?” 

“Yes — once.” 

They did. 


8 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


Chirpter III 

( Tap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap ! 

Tap-tap l 

Tap-ap-ap-ap-ap — / /) 

“Mother,” cried Kizzy, “who is that 
rapping? ” (Tap-a-tap !) 

“Mother,” said Dick, “who is that 
tapping? ” (Tap-a-tap ! !) 

“Muvver,” echoed Ki, “who’s ’at wap- 
ping?” (Tap!) 

“Hush! (tap-tap), my children, (tap-a-tap), 
keep very still; (rap-a-tap-tap) , it’s Mr. 
Flicker (tap-a-tap-a-rap-tap), trying his bill 
(tip-a-tap-tip-a-tap-a-rap-tap). We’ve made 
a mistake, and taken his estate; we must 
make our escape ! He lives on an upper 
floor, but, should he spy us thro our door, 
instantly, we would be no more!” 

“But how,” anxiously asked Kizzy, “shall 
we escape from this scrape?” 

“Hush! (tap-tap), it is not yet morn, 
(tap); it is hardly dawn. (Tap-tap); if we 
keep quite still (tap), till he files his bill 
(tap-tap), he’ll fly away. (Tap.) Then be- 
fore ’tis day (tap-tap), we must move away!” 
(Tap!) 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


“What! again?” whispered Dick. 

“No matter,” cried Kizzy, “cheer up! 
It’s easy to move; all you have to do is to 
take yourself and your cheer from here, and 
go anywhere, and when you get there, you 
are moved — there!” 

Said Mother Ketura: — 

“It seems to prove , very easy to move {tap-a-tap)! ! 

( Tap-a-tap )! 

But to you I confide , my dear little daughter — 

( tap-a-tap )/ 

I should prefer to find a more permanent quarter; 
Where we may not have three kinds of fright 
To turn us out three times in a night!" 

(i tap-a-tap — a-tip-a-tap-tap — tap — ) 

Then Kizzy said, with a smile on her face, 
“I’ve heard, dear mother, of a perfect place; 
it’s found beneath an old oak book-case.” 
“Who told you?” 

“Mrs. Kazooma, the ‘summer visitor.’” 
“Where is it?” 

“She did not tell me that.” 

“Where does she live?” 

“In a beautiful flat.” 

“Mother,” cried Dicky, “old red-top, — 
Mr. Flicker, I mean, has gone!” 


10 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


“Then we’ll consult Mrs. Kazooma with- 
out delay, and find a home before it is day; 
we follow you, Kizzy! Hop ahead, without 
delay, lead the way.” 

Chirpter IV 

Kizzy danced along ahead; she liked to 
lead the way, and often she would turn her 
head, or make a stop to say: “Cheer up! 
We are 19-49ths of the way already! Hop 
skip ! Skip hop ! ! Keep it up, true and 
steady! We are .630 of the way now. High 
and spry and rather fast, is the pace, this 
grass to pass.” 

“It prickles and tickles; it’s sticky!” cried 
Dicky. 

“Cheer up!” cried Kizzy. “Don’t mind; 
keep busy. Mother, don’t slip on that chip. 
Close to me, Dick, beware the Ant Lion’s pit. 
Wait, mother; I don’t want this briar-rose 
to scratch Kuldi Ki’s nose! Most there! 
Here’s a dew on a dewberry; let’s take a 
sip!” 

So chatting merrily, and hopping gaily, 
Kizzy led the way to the flat of Mrs. K. 

“Dear me!” cried Mrs. Ketura, as they 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


11 


approached; “what a very strange flat! 
It’s an old tin pan, and quite rusty at that!” 

Dick, with a stick, began to pound the door. 

“Stop, Dicky,” cried Kizzy, “it’s never 
polite to bang the door with all your might, 
and it might cause Mrs. K. to quake with 
fright. Just give a modest, soft tap-a-tap, 
and gently wake her from her nap.” 

“Who is it?” cried a voice inside the flat. 

“My dear Mrs. Kazooma,” exclaimed 
Mother Ketura, “so sorry to disturb you — 
at this very early hour, but we have been 
whizzed, chewed, and tapped out of three good 
homes this night; take pity on our plight, 
and direct us to that permanent book-case 
place.” 

“Come in — glad to see you; finish the 
night with me, and, in the morning, we will 
see, what we will see. How do you like my 
flat?” 

Mother Ketura replied : “It seems spacious 
and wide, but why do you call it a flat? It 
might be anything else but that; and it looks 
like a rusty tin pan, in fact.” 

“There are four reasons,” said Mrs. Ka- 
zooma, decidedly, “why I call my home a 
flat. 1st. You have heard the expression, 


12 THE CHEER CHIRPERS 

‘Flat as a pancake’? This was the pan that 
baked the cake that was flat. 

“2nd. The cook was angry and threw away 
the pancake, pan and all; the pancake was 
already flat, and the pan fell flat. 

“3rd. I can read music in any key, and I 
know this must be “A^” (A Flat). Even 
the key to the door, you can C to (see to 
be flat). 

“ 4th. Rusty, or dusty, or musty, if I choose 
to call my home a flat, no one shall make 
me call it anything else — that’s flat!” 

Mother Ketura smiled. “How long have 
you lived in this very flat flat? ” 

“I moved in and began eating the flat 
pancake, five minutes after this flat pan fell 
flat. I’ve eaten already 791 lunches, and there 
are 917 more; join me now in a little repast; 
your dear wee Chirpers must be hungry!” 

“I’m hungry!” said Dick. 

“So’m I,” said Ki. 

And Kizzy was hungry, but too shy to say 
much about it. They all had a nibble of the 
flat pancake, and then Mrs. K. said: “To 
bed! To bed!” 

Soon Kizzy was asleep in the Red Rust 
Rest Room, and Dicky in the Icy Gust Guest 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 13 

Room. Mother Ketura and Kuldi Ki slept 
in the Old Cold Mould Room, while Mrs. 
Kazooma took the Hard Husk Mat-rust in 
the tiny Tin Dent Den. 

Of course, they sang again, “ Cheer up!” 

No sooner were they all asleep, than — ! 

Chirpter V 

“Dear me!” exclaimed Mrs. K.; “why, 
what in the world was that? A whirlwind, or 
cyclone, or earthquake, I know not, but 
something has taken my flat!” 

“Oh! cricky!” cried Dicky, “where’s my 
bedroom?” 

At this, Kuldi Ki began to cry, “I — I — I — 
didn’t take it!” 

“Cheer up!” cried Kizzy; “Mrs. Kazooma, 
your flat was taken by the junk-man; he 
thought it was only an old tin pan!” 

“I must say,” remarked Mrs. K., “it’s 
very provoking to have your home taken 
from over your head, when you are warm and 
snug in bed! How could he take it? ’Twas 
all I had!” 

Mother Ketura smiled: “He did not take 
the cake!” she said. 


14 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


“I suppose,” said Mrs. K., “it’s no use 
crying over spilt milk, or junked flats. I may 
as well — ” 

“ Cheer up!” cried Kizzy. 

“Cheer up!” said Dick. 

“Chee-yup,” echoed Ki! 

“You might,” exclaimed Mother Ketura. 
“move with us to the book-case place, or, 
if you preferred, board under an old board, or, 
if you wished to live in high style, you could 
live in any high s-t-i-l-e; perhaps you would 
like to visit other congenial Crickets for 
awhile, or even go back to the city!” 

“Say no more,” cried Mrs. Kazooma, “I’ll 
grieve no longer; I see now how unprofitable 
and flat my life was, in that flat. I did nothing 
but eat and sleep, since they were both so 
very cheap. I never once have used my 
‘cheer,’ since the day that I came here; 
but now, I see it’s wrong, my dear. I will 
not board, nor visit; I’ll use my voice ex- 
quisite, and, singing with my feet, I’ll astonish 
the elite, with my refound feat!” 

And then, without waiting for sun or day, 
or anything else, Mrs. K. began a loud, rol- 
licking, cheerful chirrup, called 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


IS 


“The Cricket’s Dawn of Morn Song” 
“Come! 

Cheer up and chirrup ! 

Wake up , sleepy folks, and get up! 

Hop up, and jump up, and cheer up ! 
Come, dull folks, stir up, and chirrup ! 

Come, sad folks, cheer up, and chirrup! 

The sun’s up! 

The lark’s up! 

Come ! 

Wink up, and blink up, — shake up and wake 
up! 

Girl up, and boy up, cheer up and chirrup ! 

Come — happily hop up, joyfully jump up ! 

Come — stir up, and cheer up, and chirrup!” 


Chirpter VI 

An hour later, the five Crickets entered 
the open door of the old homestead, skipped 
across the carpet, and found a very cosy, 
homelike, crickety place beneath the old 
book-case. 

“You are sure,” said Mother Ketura, 
“that we are welcome?” 

Mrs. Kazooma replied: — 


16 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


66 My dear; 

As soon as the people who live here , hear 
Our cheerful song of ‘ Cheer , good cheer / 

They'll welcome us well — never you fear! 

The children here are fond of books , 

And sit around in ingle nooks; 

But winter makes their faces white , 

Because it gives so little light; 

This house has echoes , so I'm told, 

And all the rooms are damp and cold; 

It's best that we should take this place 
Beneath this heavy oak book-case; 

Then, when the rooms are dark or chill, 

Or little children sad or ill — 

We'll sing our chirrup with a will, 

And cheer them up — yes — that we will !” 

“It’s a beautiful plan for doing good,” 
said Mother Ketura, “and, I hope, a perma- 
nent home. We’ll sing for them to pay the 
rent; as each good cheer is worth a cent, if 
we each pay ten cheers a day, then, alto- 
gether, I should say, we’d pay $15 per month 
for rent.” 


The days and weeks and months go by, 
and the five little Crickets pay rent regularly, 
— that is why, these dull, wintry days, 


THE CHEER CHIRPERS 


17 


the children of that house have plenty of 
good cheer! 

One evening, recently, the following con- 
versation was heard: 

Mother Ketura. “I’m too busy, Kizzy!” 

Kizzy. “But mother — I cannot get to 
sleep any faster in this hole in the plaster 
than I did in the castor.” 

Dick. “I’ve caught my back in a crack, 
and every time the floor squeaks, the crack 
creaks, and my back cricks!” 

Kuldi Ki. “I des, tant do to seep, les’ I 
sin’ ‘ Chee-chee-chirrup ’ once more.” 

Mother Ketura. “I suppose that is what 
is what is the matter with all of you. You 
have already sung it 31 times with Mrs. 
Kazooma, till her feet are so tired, she has 
retired, and you have paid the rent three 
weeks in advance. Now — if I let you sing, 
twice more, will you go to sleep?” 

All. “Yes! yes! yes!” 

And they sang: — 

“ When nights are long , and days are drear , 

Cheer ! cheer ! chirrup ! good cheer ! 

When hearts are sad , or filled with fear — 

Cheer! cheer! chirrup! good cheer! 


18 THE CHEER CHIRPERS 

For everything that's well begun — 
Cheer! 

For every task that's better done — 
Cheer ! 

For merry play , or happy fun — 
Cheer , cheer , cheer! ! ! 

For everything , and every one — 
Cheer! cheer! cheer!!! 
CHEER HI! 

C!H!E! EIRH! 
C—H—E—E—R!" 
!!!!!!!!!! 





tfa-je 



TIL TEE’S TALE 


’Twas on a lonely , sandy shore , 
1 met a little bird; 

He told me all his story , 

Here written word for word . 



I 

A YEAR ago I was born — where I 
could hear the sounding sea, and 
see, surrounding me, the seething 
sedge at the salt sea’s edge. 

I was born with a light heart, a strong bill, 
swift wings, and spry feet. 

“Peet-weet! Peet-weet!” I say all day. 
I am so happy! And all I know is, — one 
kind of work, and seven kinds of play. 

Work is breakfast; some call it “fishing.” 
When I was two days old and only a tiny fluff 
of buff down, I began to work. 

My mother, Mrs. Sally Forth Sand-piper, 
showed me how to find wee water-wigglers, 
and I’ve provided my own food ever since. 

All our race like to work; I never knew a 
single shirk. 


TIL TEE’S TALE 


Peet-weet ! 

No work — 

No eat!!! 

The law of life — 
Short — sweet; 
Complete. 
Peet-weet ! ! ! 


All good Sand-pipers say this over many 
times a day; especially, the last line, — • 
“ ‘ Peet-weet!”; work is very easy when your 
bill is long and strong; tho the day be 
breezy, I work and sing my song — 4 4 Peet- 
weet.” 

But, altho I like work, I like the “Seven 
Games,” too. The first, — “Bob-bow,” I 
never had to learn — neither did mother — 
nor brother ip — nor brother Kip — nor 
little sister Wee-Tee. 

We all began to play “ Bob-bow,” as soon 
as we could talk, and before we learned to 
walk. It’s such fun — when rightly done! I’ll 
tell you how. Just run a dozen steps or two 
— quickly — stop suddenly — bob your head 
down — and flirt your tail up ; run a few 
steps more along the shore, and “teeter” 
again ! 


TIL TEE’S TALE 


23 


A thousand times a day, I do it just that 
way; I hop along, to gaily sway in play amid 
the spray, and never stray away. 

When we “Bob-bow,” my little sister Wee 
will cry, — “See! oh! see Til Tee tilt — 
and Ip tip — and Kip flip ! ” and all the 
time she’s saying it, little Wee Tee will 
“teeter”! 

Our friends, the little waves playing “lap- 
lap” on the beach, bob to us politely. 

A million years ago, and more, they’ve 
bobbed upon the shore. If we didn’t bow 
back with all our might, we’d be extremely 
impolite. 

One day, near night, when I was two (days), 
I heard a frightful “much-a-do,” and sud- 
denly, a scary, hairy giant (the kind that 
roars “bow-wow”), crashed and dashed into 
sight — crushed the crackling grass, and 
rushed to left and right! 

Alas! I didn’t know what had come to 
pass! I tried to flutter and fly, or utter a 
cry, but — out of the corner of my eye — 
saw mother playing “Quick-Sit”; then I 
saw Ip Quick-Sit, and Kip Quick-Sit, and 
little Wee Tee Quick-Sit too, and I knew what 
to do!! 


24 


TIL TEE’S TALE 


We were safe! The scary, hairy, bow-wow 
giant couldn’t see us, and, with a great com- 
motion, rushed away. 

That “ Quick-Sit” is a good game! I’ve 
played it many times since. It has only one 
rule, — very easy to remember. 

When danger threatens , make your best Quick-Sit. 

The enemy will take you for a stone , or stick . 

It’s a very pretty trick — but not the only 
way to safety; sometimes, it’s better to 
play the game of “Run, Run, Little Feet,” 
or, “Lightly Skim the Wave,” or even, 
“1-2-3 — DIVE!” 

When on a seaweed raft I stand , 

And drift away from home and land , 

It makes me feel so very grand 
To know if I should look on high , 

And see a danger in the sky , — 

Td only have to tip , and slip 
From off the deck my seaweed chip — 

And take a steady , long , strong dive; 

And after that — come up alive! ! ! 

Peet! Weet! It’s great fun, being a Sand- 
piper! ! ! 



When danger theatens , make your best “ Quick Sit. 
The enemy will take you for a stone , or stick. 




26 


TIL TEE’S TALE 


There are two more games. No. 6, “Kick 
the Sticks”; I’ve played this many times in 
the edge of the sedge, with my brothers. 

At night, we play “Run, Run, Little Feet,” 
along the beach until we reach the sedge 
edge; then — I jump quick, and give the 
stick a kick, and Ip will pick ’another stick 
to kick, and Kip will keep his feet a-kicking, 
against the thicket. 

Tick-tick-tick-a-tick, — soon we make the 
rough way slick, and bring to view, a new, 
grand, graded avenue for our little sister 
Wee Tee — like a royal princess — to pass 
thro. We like to do it for her, and she likes 
to have us, too. 

We play this every night — with all our 
might — in the dusky light. 

The seventh game is — “ Going Lame” 
Mother always jplayed this best; 

When enemies were near our nest , 

She'd flutter feebly , just ahead , 

Always keeping out of reach; 

A man would think her almost dead , 

And chase her way along the beach . 

So go the days — one, work, — and seven 
— plays! ! ! 


TIL TEE’S TALE 


27 


I am old, quite old now — a year last 
night. Mother and Ip and Kip and Wee 
Tee have gone somewhere — I don’t know 
where. Perhaps I shall never see them again, 
— but I am not lonesome. I have the white 
sand beach, and the friendly Bob-bowing 
waves — the smell of the salt sea-breeze; 
the fishing is good, very good, and — last 
night — I saw a sight ! ! ! 

The moon was full — the tide was high; 
at the water’s edge, I did espy — the daintiest 
little lady — all alone; playing, “Run, Run, 
Little Feet” — amid the foam. But when I 
went toward the spot, and tried to say, “ So 
sweet,” she shyly flew away! But there — 
upon the soft, wet sand, — she’d written, 
with her little feet, in language I could under- 
stand, — her name, and her address — 
complete! ! 



28 


TIL TEE’S TALE 


Some summer day , not far away , FIX call to see 
The dainty little lady bird , with speckles on her 
breast; 

Then I will say, “I wish you'd play * The Seven 
Games' with me. 

Let's be Mr. and Mrs. Til Tee — and — and — 
build a nest 1 1 1" 


UMMIE TINK 


However far afield, my busy thoughts may roam; 

I know I never shall forget the Honey of my Home . 


TlNK 


I 

i AWAS May! The air was warm and 
laden with the scent of apple-blos- 
JL som honey. 

Little Ummie Tink was tired of his nest; 
after such a long, long winter of rest, he longed 
to leave the mud-mansion home, enjoy the 
day, stretch his wings, — and — fly away ! 

But Mother Honora Fedora Zippora said: 
“No! there are dangers without — you are 
too young to go out, and I cannot show you 
the bright, sunny day till I finish my work.” 

Mother Honora was very busy, for the 
mansion was cracked, and mud was hard to 
match. She had to have the best mud of just 
the right shade, and, as it couldn’t be bought, 
it had to be made. 

Mother Fedora was especially busy, for, 
besides the cell of the ell, and the ell of the 
cellar, she had to patch-plaster the back 
attic, and find names for eight new, wee, 
winkie waspies, and all before night. 




32 


UMMIE TINK 


Ummie Tink didn’t want to be good; he 
wanted to go out and find apple-blossom 
honey. 

“I know what I’ll do!” he cried, “I’ll run 
away!!” 

He did. 

He went down to the bottom of the house, 
and crawled thro the front door, in the middle 
of the floor, and flew straight as an arrow 
to the nearest apple-tree. Just as he entered 
a rose-pink petal portal — bump ! he went 
against some one coming out! 

“Buzz! buzz!” cried the Bee , 

As cross as could be! 

“You’ve shaken the flower; 

Set falling the pollen; 

You’ve wasted my hour — 

Your folly’s appalling ! ” 

Little Tink trembled and came near fall- 
ing. 

“I think,” cried Tink, — “I hear mother 
calling.” 

But strange to say, he’d lost his way; he 
flew hither and thither till he came to the 
heather, and there he saw a door invitingly 


UMMIE TINK 


33 


open. He thought ’twas his home, and to the 
door he flew, but worse luck, he stuck, and 
couldn’t get through. 

“Oh! dear!” he cried, “what shall I do? 
How could that door shrink? It used to just 
fit; perhaps I bumped myself bigger when I 
bumped the Bee; I hear something coming! 
He’s after me!” 

“Hum! hum! How do?” cried a voice he 
knew, and looking round, Tink saw^his cousin 
Hornet — Homer Hummer. 

“Hum! hum! How do? What’s the matter 
with you?” and Homer Hummer alighted, 
and proceeded to polish the top of his head 
with his left hind foot. 

“I can’t get in! This door fits so tight! 
Can you stretch it for me?” 

“Hum! No! Doors don’t stretch!” 

“Oh dear! What shall I do?” 

“Hum! hum! I’ll push you thro.” 

“I wish you would!” 

“I will.” 

“Do!” 

“Hum!” 

Homer Hummer braced with all his feet, 
and pushed with all his might, and Tink went 
halfway thro the door, and then — stuck 


34 


UMMIE TINK 


tight! But Homer Hummer pushed with all 
his might! 

“ Stop ! ” cried Tink, ‘‘you’re hurting me ! ” 

Still Homer Hummer pushed with all his 
might ! 

Then, suddenly, Tink knew he’d made a 
mistake — it wasn’t his home at all, he was 
trying to enter! ’Twas the Hither-Heather 
Hornet Home!!! 

“Stop!” cried Tink; “I’m in the wrong 
door! I’m in a plight!!” 

Yet Homer Hummer pushed with all his 
might ! 

Inside the Hornet home, all the Hornets 
came to look at Tink, but not a single one of 
them could think what to do to help him thro; 
and as for backing out again, that he knew 
he couldn’t do, for, just inside the door, sure 
that he was right, little Homer Hummer 
pushed with all his might! 

II 

Meanwhile, Mother Zippora Honora Fedora 
was so busy, mud-matching and crack-patch- 
ing, she never missed Tink. 

After the end cell in the cellar of the ell 


UMMIE TINK 


35 


was finished, she turned her attention to 
naming her new children. 

This was a hard task; Mother Honora 
wanted to name them all for herself, — but — 
as there were eight wee, winkie waspies, and 
she only had three names, when she got thro 
naming, there were two Fedoras, two 
Honoras, two Zipporas, — and two left- 
overs ! 

Mother Honora was perplext and vext. 
She said: “I don’t know what to do next! 
The only way I know to make my names go 
round among the eight, is to divide Fedora 
and Honora and Zippora, and give a small- 
sized piece to each.” 

She did. With this result. 

1. Nora. 

2 . Ora. 

3. Dora. 

4. Pora. 

5. Ho-Ho. 

6. Fedo. 

7. Zippo. 

8. Ra! Ra! Ra! 

Mother Fedora was very proud of her skill. 
“They are beautiful names,” she cried, — 
“and, what is better, — I’ve given a piece of 


36 


UMMIE TINK 


my name to every one of my new children. 
Speaking of children — reminds my of my 
other child. Ummie Tink! Come here! 
Tink!! Tink!!! I say, Ummie Tink, don’t 
you hear your mother calling? Where can 
that child be hiding? He’s not in a single 
cell of the ell, or cell of the cellar! Perhaps 
he fell — thro the front door!!” 

Hastily closing Nora’s door, and Ora’s 
door, and Dora’s door, and Pora’s door, and 
Ho-Ho’s door, and Fedo’s door, and Zippo’s 
door, and Ra! Ra! Ra!’s door — that they 
might not get out and crawl about — Mother 
Fedora, drest in her wispy wasp, wash waist, 
made haste to find her son. 

First, — with rapid wing and steady poise, 
she stood in the air, and looked here and 
there, and everywhere. Then, she began to 
make circles of flight, — larger and larger, 
until, when she had reached a circle an acre 
in size, her wings were aching with the 
exercise. 

“I must rest a moment,” she said. 

With a flop and a drop, she came to a stop, 
at the rose-pink petal portal of an apple 
blossom. Bump! She went against some- 
thing just coming out! 


UMMIE TINE 


37 


“Buzz! buzz !” cried the Bee ! 

“For the life of me, I cannot see 
Why everybody bumps in me ! 

This is my second bump today ! 

What stupid wasp folks 
To get in the way. 

Buzz! buzz! 1 hate jokes! ! !” 

And he bumbled away . 

Just then. Mother Honora heard a din 
at the Hither-Heather Hornet Home, and, 
hurrying thither, she discovered Ummie Tink 
trying to back out to the door, and Homer 
Hummer struggling hard to push him in. 

“Stop! Homer Hummer!” cried Ummie 
Tink’s mother. 

Homer Hummer stopped. 

Tink backed out. “I’ve been crying ‘stop’ 
for hours,” he cried, — “why didn’t you stop 
before?” 

Homer Hummer rubbed his head with three 
feet and then smoothed down his yellow 
jacket. “Hum!” he replied — “because I 
said I would push you thro; I always do what 
I say I’ll do, and if you’ll let me still stick to 
it, perhaps, in time, I’ll push you thro it; I 
hate to give up when I say I’ll do it!” 


38 


UMMIE TINK 


III 

“Tink,” said his mother, as she manipu- 
lated the mud with her mandibles, — “you 
had a hard time because you ran away from 
home. If you will help me plaster, I can work 
faster, and when the end cell of the ell, and the 
ell cell of the cellar are done, with a light 
heart you can go and have fun.” 

Tink helped. The work was soon finished. 

“Now,” said Mother Zippora, — “wear 
this little package of courage, and you will 
not fear a cross Bee, or anything else you 
see; and, that you may always be able to 
find your way home, I’m going to show you 
something.” 

Mother Fedora took Tink to the tank, — 
the hidden Home-Honey -Tank. Said she, — 
“Whoever tastes of the honey of his home, 
will always come back, tho far he may roam. 
Taste — Tink — of the tank.” And Tink 
tasted. 

Then Tink left the cellar, and went down to 
the attic, — fell thro the floor, out of the door 
— the front door — and flew merrily away to 
play. 

Note. — The mud-mansion is built up- 


UMMIE TINK 


39 


side-down, — making the cellar at the top — 
the attic at the bottom — and the front door 
in the middle of the bottom of the outside 
floor. 

He flew straight to the apple tree, and just 
as he was going in the rose-pink petal portal, 
he bumped against some one coming out. 

“Buzz! buzz!" said the Bee , 

“ This makes number three; 

Are you a stupid ? 

Or can’t you see?" 

Tink remembered his courage packet, and 
it made him brave. Said he: “You needn’t 
think, Mr. Bee, you own every blossom, in 
every tree! I didn’t bump into you, you 
bumped into me! And I have some rights 
to the honey,” cried he. 

The Bee picked up his honey -bag, — “ Buzz ! 
buzz ! ! buzz ! ! ! ” Tink heard him say. 

Tink took some honey, and then, looking 
round, he saw Little Tippie Ant, crawling on 
the ground, and, not being very well ac- 
quainted, he said nothing, but politely bowed. 

Suddenly he heard, and then he saw, a 
great commotion near the Hither Heather 


40 


UMMIE TINK 


Hornet Home, and flying that way, he met 
Homer Hummer, very much excited. 

“ What’s the matter?” cried Tink. 

Homer was almost wild with rage ! “ Hum ! 

hum!! A great giant, called A Bad Little 
Boy, who wears boots, is pulling our home 
up by the roots, — hum ! hum ! — get your 
sting ready!” 

“Mother told me,” thought Tink, “not to 
use my sting without good reason — but this 
seems to be a just cause!” 

Like a dart he flew, and Homer did too. 
They alighted on The Bad Little Boy, and 
began their stings to employ; and at the same 
time, Homer’s father, and mother, and grand- 
father, and 17 brothers, and 39 sisters came 
out, and began to sting The Bad Little Boy, 
and Mother Honora Fedora Zippora came 
flying with Nora and Ora, and Dora and Pora, 
and Ho-Ho, and Fedo, and Zippo, and 
Ra! Ra! Ra! — and they all began to 
sting ! ! 

The Little Bad Boy started to run away. 
“Tink! stop stinging!” cried his mother — 
and Tink stopped, and Homer Hummer’s 
family all stopped, and began their home- 
coming, and humming. “Hum! hum!” cried 


U M M I E TINK 


41 


Homer Hummer — “I should like to sting all 
summer!” 

But Nora and Ora and Dora and Pora and 
Ho-Ho and Fedo and Zippo and Ra! Ra! Ra! 
— wouldn’t stop! They’d never been sting- 
ing before, and they thought it great fun! 
Mother Honora Fedora Zippora tried to call 
them away, but their names were so new, and 
so far from few, she got all confused, and 
what did she do but cry: “Stop stinging! 
Come away! Come Era and Dofa and Roda 
and Tora and Ha! Ha! and Tiddo and Zero 
and Ra! Ra! Ra!” Ra! Ra! Ra! was such a 
funny name, she got that just right — and 
Ra! Ra! Ra! stopped stinging — but then 
The Bad Little Boy ran away, sadder and 
wiser, and all the other Wee Winkie Waspies 
stopped stinging, and, as soon as all were 
safely home, Mother Fedora stood them all in 
a row and said: “My dears — you ought 
to know, your stings should never, never be 
used — unless by man — you are abused. If 
people about you are gentle and kind, go in 
and out and never mind; but — if they try 
to show their powers — just let them feel these 
stings of ours. This is the end of the stinging 
lesson, — but there’s yet another to learn.” 


42 


UMMIE TINK 


Then she took the eight to the tank — and 
Tink, too, to the tank to taste. “I think,” 
said Tink, and he stood on the brink of the 
tank and tasted, “this is better than any 
apple-blossom honey in the world. My dear 
little sisters, let me give you some advice: — 

“ Go out into the world — he busy every day — 
Dancing in the sunshine — or, 'playing , hide away; 

However far afield your little thoughts may roam — 
I hope you never will forget — ‘ The Honey of Your 
Home !’” 



HOMER HUMMER, W.D., S.B. 


’Tis true , we have to work , 
But work's a kind of play. 
And play's a kind of work: 
If you but think that way. 


HIjSImI 



I 

I T was summer, and Homer Hummer was 
busy as could be. He was also very buzzy ; 
in fact, fully as buzzy, and much more 
busy, than his cousin Beezy Buzz, A.B., a 
Bee. 

The latter had been to Honey-Comb Col- 
lege and taken his degree. It was quite un- 
usual for a Bee to be A.B., but Homer was 
not envious of his cousin’s degree, for Homer 
was a hornet, and knew he never could become 
a Bee, or be A.B. 

“I’m a Hummer,” said Homer; “a Hummer 
by name, a Hummer at work, when I make 
things hum, and a Hummer at the song, 
which all summer I hum. 

Hum! Hum! Hum! 

Hum-m-m! !” 

Homer was not only a good Hummer, he 
was also an excellent Homer; by name, by 
the way he loved his home and stuck to it, 



46 HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 

and in the way — when he was far from home 
and it was coming night — Homer became a 
homer in his flight. 

It was a homely life for Homer, and a 
humdrum life for Hummer, but he was con- 
tented and happy until — 

One day, as usual, as soon as the rays of 
the morning sun touched the Hither Heather 
Hornet House, Homer Hummer’s home, he 
was outside the hole in the cellar floor, which 
was also the only front door, with black 
and yellow jacket on, ready for work, he 
said: — 

“It will be a hot and stifling summer day; 
All the signs of Nature point that way; 

My little sisters , who work inside , thro all this 
torrid heat, 

Will suffer much; by the door Fit stand; my filmy 
wings Yll beat. 

Like frisky fans, to cool and ventilate their close 
retreat .” 

Hotter and hotter it grew; Homer only 
fanned faster. Homer’s brothers came out, 
and flew about, but they wouldn’t help Homer; 
they all said they were afraid it was going to 
be a hot day; but it wasn’t any use to work, 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 47 

sisters could attend to that — they preferred 
to play. 

“I think it a disgrace,” cried Homer; “all 
the males in this place are lazy, except me; 
run away and play ! You’ll rue it some day ! ” 
Homer kept on fanning until he was nearly 
exhausted; then his sister Fanny fanned. 
Homer stopped only long enough to taste a 
dish of dew; then, straight to the most popu- 
lar poplar tree he flew, and began his usual 
day’s work to do. 

He was learning paper-making ; 

So , a bite of tree-bark taking 
In his mouth , back home he flew; 

Inside the house , close by the door , 

With twenty sisters on the floor , 

He sat down , his wood to chew. 

After chewing , chewing , chewing , 

As he saw the others doing , 

Chewing faster, faster , faster , 

Pretty soon, the piece he chewed , 

Changed from toughest, hardest wood 
Into softest molding plaster / 

Then, outside the door he went, 

And was instantly intent 
In cutting quite a caper; 


48 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 


Manipulating feet and head 
Till the plaster , as Hwas spread, 

Turned to extra fine gray paper. 

‘‘Hum! Hum!” cried Homer Hummer; 
“I’m an expert paper-maker; when I have 
helped my chewing sisters put on 350 more 
layers, our home will be strong and tight 
enough to stand the roughest weather.” 

{Thump, thump ! Bang-i-ty bump!!) 

It was a distant sound, but it made our 
Homer jump. 

“What is it? The earth quaking, our 
house-tree shaking, or a foe, a challenge 
making? Whatever it is, before it harms, I’ll 
give the alarms: — To arms! To arms! !” 

Rushing to the door, crushing thro the 
floor, inside, he cried, “Where’s Gen. Whizzy, 
— sick — or busy ? ” 

The Amazon Army were thirty in row, 
right-winged and left-winged, ready to go, 
but where the slothful General was, no one 
seemed to know. Homer hunted the bar- 
racks over, and looked under everything; at 
the very last paper cell, he fell pell-mell 
over the General, who was sadly sighing, at 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 49 

the same time trying to get the criss-cross 
cramps out of his left wing. 

“Hurry! General!” cried Homer. 

“I can’t hurry,” replied the General; “I’ve 
tried, but it’s no use; this wing won’t work; 
I’ve used persuasion and abuse; don’t scold, 
I’m old, and my ways are slow; if the outside 
foe is to be stung quick, tell the Amazon 
Army I’m too sick. You lead in my stead, 
while I stay in bed, and bathe my head.” 

“Hum!” said Homer Hummer; “I go — 
to conquer the foe — if it takes all summer!” 

Out of the door he flew, at the head of his 
noble band, whose trusty blades were ready 
to sting at his command, but no sign of foe 
was there in Hither Heather Land, altho 
they searched the moor and mere on either 
hand. 

“Hum!” said Gen. Hummer, “I’ve heard 
of foes that fought and ran away, so they 
might live to fight another day, but this is 
the first time I ever knew a foe to take to 
flight, before they even saw there was to be 
a fight! The next time a foe comes round, 
we’ll be on ground; there won’t be any delay, 
if Ym to lead the fray; in battle array, we’ll 
win the day, for, come what foe, or when it 


50 HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 

may, ’twill get no chance to run away, if I’m 
around! ! ! 

Attention — company; shoulder — wings! 

Shut up — stings; break — ranks ! ! 

Thanks!! r 

The army went inside to hide, and Homer 
was about to follow, when a tiny, sweet 
voice said: “ How-do, Homer, don’t you 
know me? I’m your cousin.” 

“Not Fedo?” guessed Homer. 

“No.” 

“I know you now, — Ho-ho?” 

“No! No!!!” 

“You have grown so since I saw you last, 
but I think you must be Zippo!” 

“No — ha, ha, ha!! I’m Ra Ra Ra! !” 

“Why! Ha! ha! ha!! So you are, — 
Ra Ra Ra! My little wispish cousin grown 
to be a fine waspish young lady! Would you 
like to go over the place?” 

“Yes — if you will — ?” 

And Homer did! 

Ra Ra Ra had very bright eyes; at every- 
thing she saw, they opened with surprise. 
Homer forgot he’d ever been a plasterer, or 
served as General; he said: “We’ll go — 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 51 

inside, and I will be your guide. The fran- 
tically fanning four, just outside the door, 
are the ventilating squad; inside, there conies 
to view, the few who never refuse to chew; 
they are the paper pulp makers; and near at 
hand, a noble band, the Amazon Army, night 
and day, all ready stand; a little while ago, 
I did myself command, but, since it keeps 
me by your side, I’d rather be a humble 
guide ! 

“We will now go to the attic, which is 
largest, and has most rooms, and, as we come 
down, I’ll name the number and occupation 
of the workers on each floor.” 


TEN, TALL, TRIED, TRUE, TESTED, TIP-TOP, TINY-TOT TURNERS 
NINE, NEW, NATTY, NIMBLE, NOBLE, NEVER-NODDING, NOTED NURSES 
EIGHT, EVEN-ENTERED, EVER-EAGER, ERNEST, ENERGETIC EARNERS 
SEVEN, SOLEMN, SERIOUS, SANE, STOLID, STUFF-SELECTERS 
SIX, SLIM, SLICK, SIMPLE, STICK-SNIPPERS 
FIVE, FINIKY, FINE, FURNISHING-FINISHERS 
FOUR, FOREMOST, FORM, FOREMEN 
THREE THRIFTY, THRIVERS 
TWO TRUSTEES 
ONE 

“One what?” asked Ra Ra Ra politely. 

“Hush!” whispered Homer; “We never 
speak the name aloud; of her, we are most 
justly proud; our Queen and mother lies im- 
prisoned, all her life in this dark cell, that all 


52 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 


the rest of us may be contented, free, and 
well, and in our happy home, in peace and 
plenty dwell. Tread softly, whisper gently, 
while we pass the Royal Cell. ,, 

As they stood at the door, once more, Ra 
Ra turned her head and said: “It’s a beauti- 
ful, bountiful, busy, bustling home, but you 
all have to work all the time; I should think 
you would get so tired! Don’t you ever 
play?” 

“Oh! yes!” said Homer; 

“ ’ Tis true we have to work, but work’s a kind of play; 
And play’s a kind of work, if you but think that way. 
I’d rather play at working than work at shirking. 
For shirking work is really harder work than 
working; 

And playing work is really better play than play ! 

“Let me offer you some light refreshment; 
will you sip a sup of sweet sap?” 

“I’m much obliged to you; I’ll only quaff 
a glass or two of dew.” 


II 

When Homer politely asked to escort his 
cousin home, she said, “Hum! I should like 



TEN. TALL..TRIEO. TRUE . TESTED. T«P-TOP. TINY-TOT TURNERS 


INE. JltW, NATTY N IMBEE, NOBLE '.NEVER-NOOOINO-.NOTCO NURSES 


Vn SEVEN. 60 LEMN.SERI 0 US.SANE .STOLiD. STuFf’ -SELECTCR 


SIX , <SLIKI . 6UCK. SIMPLE. STICK-SNIPPERS 


)CZ3C 


FIN IKY, FINE, FURNISMIN&-FINISNCRS 


FIVE 


FOUR, foremost. FORM. foremen 


three thrifty, thrivers 


Two TRUSTEES 


V-N. 


The Hither Heather Hornet Home 


54 HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 

to have you come, but another cousin, Mr. 
Beezy Buzz, A.B., said that possibly he 
might call for me.” 

“Hum!” said Homer Hummer, “I think 
you would do better to trust yourself to me. 
I know that Beezy has been to college, and 
acquired honey knowledge, and hive history, 
and he has solved, I have no doubt, the wax- 
mixing mystery; also on Antennae anatomy, 
he has spent some time; but winging and 
stinging are more in my line; altho I am a 
Hornet, I can go a ‘bee-line,’ and, on your 
way home, should a foe be lying, put your 
trust in me for bee-line home-winging, and 
truly knightly chivalrous stinging.” 

Cried gentle Ra, — “Coz, say no more; 
I’ll let you take me to my door; if Cousin 
Buzz had pledged to come, in honor bound, 
I’d wait; but as he only said he might, — 
to let you go with me is right, and — it will 
give me great delight.” 

Close side by side , away they flew; 

Over the heather and meadow too; 

Over beds of rosemary , mallow , and rue; 

Over aster and gentian , purple and blue; 

And golden-rod glorious , bright and new , 

Where the breath of the white everlastings woo; 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 55 

And where the sweet ferns their odors threw , 

To lure them from their way; they flew — 

Each in a bee-line , straight and true . 

It was the first time Homer had ever 
escorted a lady home, and it seemed to some- 
how embarrass him some; he couldn’t think 
of a thing to say but “Hum!” 

It was the first time Ra Ra Ra had ever 
been escorted home, and it seemed to somehow 
embarrass her some; she couldn’t think of a 
thing to say — but — “Hum!” 

First one said “Hum,” and then the other, 

And then they both said “Hum” together ! 

They were passing now thro the orchard. 
“Stop!” cried Ra. “Look there!” 

“By the Big Bee Hive, as I’m alive, it’s 
our cousin Buzz, caught in the woof of a 
web, cornered and covered with the filmy fuzz, 
and bound about so sound, and wound in so 
tight, if he struggles with all his might, he 
can neither budge nor buzz! Dear me suz! 
He’s in about as bad a plight as any Bee ever 
was ! ” 

“Save him!’ 5 cried Ra! 


56 HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 

“Hum! I will!” answered Homer. And 
gallantly, at once, against the web he dashed, 
and began to kick, and pick, and poke and 
pull it to pieces; but sly old Zimri Spi, the 
Spider who planned the web, made it very 
strong, and it wasn’t long before Homer 
found he wasn’t untangling the web so much 
as tangling himself. But Homer was brave, 
and altho, already, one antenna, three and 
a half feet, and a portion of his right wing 
were securely webbed, he wouldn’t give 
up. 

To Beezy Buzz, A.B., said he: “I shall try 
to get you free, because dear Ra Ra Ra 
requested me.” 

Homer pushed and kicked about till he was 
halfway in, and Buzz was halfway out. 

Said Homer: “ Together let’s give a wrench 
and a pull.” They did. 

Beezy was now three quarters free, and 
Homer three fourths bound. Said Beez: 
“Please help me once more — Homer!” 

Our hero had only one leg free, “But I’ll 
do what I can with that,” said he! 

“I’m free! I’m free! !” cried Buzz, A.B. 

All Homer said was: “Oh! dear me! Now 
I’m bound and you are free!” 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 57 

Said Buzz to Homer: “You set me free; 
I’m in honor bound to set you free.” 

Said Buzz to Ra: “I was on my way to 
escort you home, but, unfortunately, I stopped 
to taste a grape, and got into this weary, 
woeful, wicked, webful scrape!” 

Said Ra to Buzz: “Dear me! I’m such a 
trouble to both of you! One would-be escort 
gets caught on his way to me, and the other 
would-be escort gets caught when trying to 
set the first would-be escort free!” 

Said Homer, bravely but faintly: “Cousin 
Buzz, never mind me; please see first our 
dear Ra home, then you can, if you care to, 
go for our Amazon Army to rescue me!” 

“Very well,” said Buzz; “Sweet coz — 
I’ll see you to your gate.” 

“I cannot allow you,” she cried, “to take 
your place at my side, until you rescue Homer 
from his fate.” 

Said Buzzy: “Excuse me, Cozzy, just let 
me state, that if I pull the web from him ’twill 
then envelop me; then he’ll have again to 
rescue me; then I, him; then he, me; then 
I, him; he — me; I — him; he, me — on — 
and on — forever, in perpetual monotony!” 

“But” — said Ra, “you must do something, 


58 HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 

or you are not worthy your degree; be a 
man!” 

Proudly then said Beezy Buzz, A.B.: “I 
cannot be a man, but I can be a Bee — and 
I will be! I stored some knowledge, in 
Honey College, of present use to me, for I 
took ‘Course B’ in Honey Maneuver and in 
Bee Diplomacy. Come with me, to the apple 
tree; we’ll secure a quantity of the finest 
honey, and place here and there, upon the 
web, around the spot where Homer’s bound, 
and then we’ll see what will happen!” 

They did. And this is what happened. 

A big, jolly Lady Bee smelt the fresh honey, 
and alighted on the web to take a taste; and, 
thinking it too good to waste, went away to 
tell about it, and returned with several more 
Lady Bees. The orchard was full of Lady 
Bees intent on shopping for bargains in honey, 
and most of the ladies had spent all their 
money, so, when they saw a few gather at 
the web, they said: “We are all as tired and 
hungry as can be! This is evidently a five- 
o’clock free honey tea.” 

By twos and threes, the Lady Bees, the 
honey teas attend, and as they all sit down 
to rest, the web begins to bend, and since 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 59 

they come so thick and fast, the web soon 
stretches — sags — at last — it breaks, and 
Homer is made suddenly free, by the five 
o’clock honey tea coming to an end! 

Each Lady Bee says “Buzz” or “Hum! 
Wasn't it good? Did you get some?” 

“No, I didn't, not a bit! 

I just wish I hadn't come!” 

But not one knew, nor understood. 

They had helped at doing good. 

When, after the crush, the crash had come — 
Each Lady Bee left straight for home! 

But Homer was free! ! 

“Rah! Rah! Rah!” cried Ra Ra Ra. 
“Buzz! Buzz! !” said Cousin Buzz. 

“Hum! Hum!” shouted Homer Hummer. 
“Cousin Buzz, in your presence, I feel humble 
as a humble Bumble Bee; before you tried 
your stratagem, I was as proud as I could be; 
I thought I knew it all! But now, I plainly 
see, that you have knowledge gained in col- 
lege, and are worthy your degree. 

“1 may be thrifty, honest, brave, and true , 
And quite as big and strong as you; 

And, for the common, daily deeds, 

Have wits sufficient for my needs; 


60 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 


But — in unusual 'plights like this , 

A well-trained mind is not amiss . 

I’ll waste no time around here fooling; 

Fit go at once and get some schooling .” 

So saying, Homer Hummer flew away, and 
on that very day, registered in Hornet Uni- 
versity, and graduated in four weeks with 
highest honors, as W.D., S.B.,* Summa cum 
Laude. 


The End 

It often happens that a story has to end, 
leaving many things unsaid. In such cases, 
we can often imagine what happens after. 
It’s easy to think of Homer Hummer growing 
to be a great leader in the Hither Heather 
Land, while those lazy brothers of his, who 
would not work or study, must suffer the lot 
of all idle drones, and get stung at last. 

Cousin Beezy Buzz, A.B., would probably 
go on a diplomatic mission to some foreign 
hive, and it’s pleasant to think that the 
gentle Ha Ra Ra becomes a Queen in her own 
home. 

* Note. — Doctor of Winging, Bachelor of Stinging. 


HOMER HUMMER, W. D., S. B. 


61 


Perhaps you think it's all untrue? 

1 see them every summer; 

Buzzy Beezy Buzz A. B. — Queenly Ra Ra Ra , 
And humming Homer Hummer! 












SHUFFLE ON, SHEM! 


“If 1 start with heart aright , 

And keep true on, thro dark or light , 
And never turn to left or right , 

But dig along with all my might, 

Why — everything will come out right” 


onShem ! 



I 

L ITTLE Shem Snail and his tiny sister, 
Sadie Snail, in the big weed garden, 
were resting under the Last Lone Let- 
tuce. They had just finished breakfast, — 
forty snips apiece, — quite a feast ! 

Said Shem, — “The sun is hot, but we are 
not, while safe beneath this lettuce.” 

“Let us always stay right here, my dear, 
where it is so shady,” said Sadie. 

Just then, the sun grew hotter, and the 
Last Lone Lettuce wilted and tilted. Little 
Sadie Snail, at once, grew very pale, and the 
tiny store of courage in her heart began to 
fail. 

Sighed Sadie: — “Oh! Shem! Such a 
shame! At dinner, there’ll be nothing to eat 
but wilts, — tilted wilts!” 

Now, Shem, for himself alone, didn’t mind, 
but to his little sickly sister Sadie, he wanted 
to be kind; so he replied: — “I’ll go forth 
into this weedy world, and see what I can 


66 


SHUFFLE ON, SHEM! 


find. I’m often called ‘Slow Coach’; I’m 
even dubbed ‘Slow Poke’; my name is a 
reproach; my gait is made a joke; but there’s 
something inside my little shell; — a kind of 
voice that sings, — ‘ Shuffle on, Shem ! ’ I 
may have to travel at a very humble pace, and 
take time to find a proper living place; dear 
sister, keep your courage up, and don’t repine, 
and, for company, repeat our long ancestral 
line. I’ll find a new, unwilted home, and well- 
provided table, and I’ll be back to you, my 
dear, as soon as I am able. 

I may have hundreds of miles to go; 

1 know I’m slow and I’ve only one toe; 

But I shall start with heart aright. 

And keep true on, thro dark or light, 

And never turn to left or right, 

But dig along with all my might, 

And everything will come out right.” 

It was a very tiresome trip, — a jolting, 
jouncing, joggling journey. Snail miles are 
very long miles to Snails, and, even before 
Shem had shuffled a score, his one little, poor 
little foot grew sore. Then what? Did he 
stop? Not to go on any more? Not he!!! 
No! No!! He softly whispered to himself: 


SHUFFLE ON, SHEM! 


67 


— “Shuffle on, Shem,” and pushed on as 
bravely as before, but rather slower. 

All the long, long day, Shem shuffled on 
his way, and never stopped to rest or play. 
At first, the hot sand burnt his foot; Shem 
couldn’t stop for that. When evening brought 
the dew, it made the pebbles slippery too; 
Shem wouldn’t stop for that. At last, it 
was night, and Jack Frost came to bite; 
Shem didn’t stop for that. All the day, all 
the evening, all the night long, his little courage 
voice inside him sang the song: — “Shuffle on, 
Shem, shuffle on!” 


II 

Meanwhile, tiny, timid, lonesome sister 
Sadie Snail sitting sadly under the Last Lone 
Tilted and Wilted Lettuce, was repeating to 
herself her ancestors for company. 

“My mother's name was Sarah Snail , 

My father s name was Saul; 

My mother's mother was Sophia , 

My mother's father , Paul. 

My other grandpa was Josiah; 

He married grandmamma Kesiah . 


68 


SHUFFLE ON, SHEM! 


Of great-grandparents I had eight; 

Their appellations 1 will state: — 

Sallie Snail , 

Snyder Snail , 

Slim Snip Snail , 

Snug Slug Snail, 

So-slo Snail, 

More-so Snail, 

No-go Snail — ” 

Here Sadie nodded, then folded up her 
eyes, put up her foot, tent-ed her tentacles, 
and went to sleep. And while she was sleep- 
ing, peacefully sleeping, little Shem was 
creeping — oh ! so slowly creeping — all thro 
the night! 


Ill 

Tip ! tip! tip!! A-tap! tap! tap!!!!! 

Tip-p!! tip-p!! tip-p!! A-tap! tap!! tap!!! 

Some one was knocking on Sadie’s back, 
which was also the roof of her house! “Wake 
up! wake up!!” cried a voice. 

Sadie pushed one eye out, and looked about : 
daylight bright, and Shem back again. 

“I’ve found a new home in a garden,” he 
cried, — “ where everything’s green, and 


SHUFFLE ON, SHEM! 


69 


nothing is dried; where the pungent parsley 
grows; where the crimson radish glows; 
where the sweetest clover blows; where the 
lettuce stands in rows; where the softest 
breeze that blows, fluffs the coolest brook that 
flows; whoever to that garden goes, makes an 
end to all his woes ! ” 

“Let us start at once!” said Sadie. 

They did. 

As they crawled along, Shem sang his 
courage song, and, — a wonderful thing hap- 
pened; all the little Snails that felt a need, or 
lack, as soon as they heard his song, their 
goods began to pack, and each one start- 
ing off, with house upon his back, began 
to follow closely, in Shem’s and Sadie’s 
track. 

Before they reached the beautiful garden, 
little frail-Snail Sadie became very, very 
tired — but Shem did all he could to assist 
his sister, and, when at last, they did arrive, — 
then was little sad, sickly Sadie made a very 
glad Snail lady. 

She was so proud of Shem! 

“Oh, Shem!” she said, “we came a thousand 
Snail miles — I counted them!” 

“How did you do it?” said Shem. 


70 


SHUFFLE ON, SHEM. f 


“I kept tally with my tentacles! And, 
Shem, 5 tis true — we all have shuffled a 



thousand miles, — but you , brave brother, — 
three thousand!!!” 

And then the great procession of little 
Snails formed in a ring. 


SHUFFLE ON, SHEM! 71 

“Sherri! Sherri! Shem! 

Sherri shall be our king! 

He taught us how to shuffle on 
And how to make our courage sing; 

Shem! Shem! Shem l! 

Shem shall be our king !!!” 

This all happened long ago, but all the 
little Snails I know, altho their gait is very 
slow, and each one has a single toe, — sing 
Shem’s song as on they go! 

“If 1 start with heart aright , 

And keep true on, thro dark or light , 

And never turn to left or right, 

But dig along with all my might, 

Why — everything will come out right !!” 


\ 


1 


THE ADVENTURES OF PHILLI 
FLIFLIT 


Flying , flitting , JWe and there; 
Dashing , dallying , in the air ; 
Creeping , leaping , on the sill; 
Whisking, frisking, with a will. 



P HILLI FLIFLIT lived in the Bakery. 
All his family and friends lived there 
too. His father and his mother, — 
his sister and his brother, — his cousin once 
removed, — and all the friends he loved, — 
all lived in the Bakery. 

It was a nice warm home, and smelt of pies 
and cakes. Philli thought it was the nicest 
home in Fly-land. He was so happy every 
day, he knew not what to do; he would fly most 
every way, and bizz-buzz as he flew; he often 
flew a mile or two, just to have a stunt to do. 

Philli was a clever fellow; he could do a 
number of things quite well. He could walk 
upside-down on the ceiling, without having 
any dizzy feeling. And he could run on a win- 
dow-pane, without ever feeling any pain. 
One day, he found a wheel, and, just to show 
what he could do, Philli walked thirty times 
around the tire, without feeling any tire! 

Philli was always busy, and almost always, 
buzzy. He had a great many adventures; 


76 ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 

some of them were very funny, and others, 
somewhat sad. One day, he saw a drop of 
cream upon the top of a dish, so he sipped a 
bit, — then bathed in it; there, — in the 
cream, he stood on his head, and softly to 
himself, he said: 

‘ 'Buzz! I could slide , 1 could hide , in cream; 
Buzz ! buzz ! ! I could dance , I could prance , in cream ; 
I could walk and creep — 

And run and leap — in cream — ” 

But 

But butter came just then! 

You see — the drop of cream heard Philli 
mutter, and was churned, or frightened into 
butter ! 

Philli’s head was now well buttered, and it 
made him cross. He flew 601 zig-zags and 
cross-tags, and gave his head many wig-wags, 
but the butter would not leave, so he alighted 
on a shelf, and tried to groom himself. 

With nimble legs, he curried his features, 
smoothed his eyes, rubbed his nose, twisted 
his neck, and tipped his head, — but the 
faster he worked, the stickier and crosser he 
became. 


ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 77 


“Fm not so fond of cream as I was,” said 
Philli; “with a buttered head, I feel so 
silly!” 

Just then, he heard a sound, a peculiar 
kind of buzzing hum, which sounded like 
— “Eee — Bum — Bum-m-m-Iii — Nahum — 
Bum-m-m!!” 

A big, fat, blustering fly — who had a 
greenish cast of eye — and who was not the 
least bit shy, — alighted on the shelf nearby. 

Poor little butter-headed Philli was de- 
lighted. This was his cousin once removed, 
and he was nicknamed Nahum-Bum, because 
of his peculiar hum. 

Said Philli: “Oh! Nahum Bum, — I’m 
glad you’ve come!” 

Said Nahum: “Hum!” 

Then Philli showed his buttered head, and 
Nahum buzzed and quickly said: “Oh! 
Come! come — with Nahum — Bum!” 

Then Nahum arose and quickly flew, to a 
loaf of bread, nice, hot, and new, and Philli 
followed, and stood on his head, which the 
butter unbuttered, and buttered the bread. 

Philli was very happy and grateful; he 
cried: “Oh! thank you! thank you, Nahum 
Bum!” but Nahum only answered “Hum!” 


78 ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 

The Bakery was a very pleasant home. 
Philli thought so. It was so hot from the 
great fire in the oven, and so sweet with the 
odor of spice cakes, that little Philli went 
fairly wild with delight. He flew hither and 
thither, and up and down, and higher and 
lower, and round and round, in a merry 
dance. 

Presently, he noticed that his father and 
his mother, his sister and his brother, and 
all the little flies of every size, were flying in 
a mad and merry way, and singing songs of 
“Bizz — buzz — buzz.” Some were flying 
straight, and others going zig-zag. Some 
were flying curving sweeps, and others, flying 
sweeping curves. 

The whole Bakery was a whirling whirl-i-gig 
whorl of busy, flying, bizzy-buzzy flies. 

Philli was so happy, 

He knew not what to do; 

His wings went flippy -flappy. 

And round and round he flew; 

He hummed a little scrappy 
Of the only song he knew . 

Oh! Philli was so happy! 

He flew — and flew — and flew ! ! ! 


ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 79 


Chapter II 

Philli was frisking and whisking about 
the Bakery, when the big, dusty, rusty old 
clock suddenly and solemnly said: “Purr-r- 
Dax-lax-nix-nax-rix-lix-rox ! ” 

Philli was surprised and astonished. He 
alighted on the ceiling, and watched the 
clock upside-down; then he flew to the shelf 
and watched the clock rightside-up. Then 
he alighted on the face of the clock and 
said: “It strikes me that this is a striking 
clock; perhaps it has works that have to 
work; I see that it has hands, so that all 
hands can see the time; I wish I knew whether 
the time by this clock was fly-time.” 

At this moment, 3 and one 5th minutes 
past eight, Philli fell from the face of the 
clock, kerslam, upon a jar of jam. The 
cover of the jar was just a bit ajar. Just 
then, the Baker-man took and shook the jar 
of jam, and poor little Philli was jarred into 
the jar, and jammed into the jam. He 
began to sink in the sticky sea, and he cried, 
“Oh! Nahum, — come to me!” 

Now Nahum was far from the jamful jar. 


80 ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 

cutting a caper on a sticky fly-paper. The 
cruel paper was covered with gum, which 
held the leg of Nahum Bum. So, when Philli 
cried, he couldn’t come, but what he said to 
himself was “Hum!” 

Philli was sinking now , out of sight; 

This was , indeed , a terrible plight; 

He gave one little , despairing cry , — 

“ Will no one save this poor little fly ? ” 

Yes — Miss Acia Galacia came to save Philli, 
and Nahum, too, and this is how she did it. 

Miss Acia Galacia was a very busy, buzzy 
little Lady Fly, who had been making calls 
along the walls. She had reached the win- 
dow-sill, and had never dreamed of any ill, 
— when, suddenly, she saw, close beside her, 
that terrible Mrs. Ida Spider. 

Said Mrs. Ida: 44 Come in and make me a 
call.” 

Said Miss Acia: 44 Thank you, not to-day.” 

Then Mrs. Ida Spider glared at Miss 
Galacia, and looked as if she wanted to bite, 
and the poor little Lady Fly hurried off in 
great affright. 

But Mrs. Spider was so cunning and mean 


ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 81 

that she laid a piece of web rope right across 
the path, and poor little Miss Acia Galacia 
tripped over it and was caught! 

Just at that moment, Philli’s weak little 
call was heard, and Mrs. Ida Spider turned 
her head away for just one instant. Little 
Miss Acia saw her chance and took it! With 
a big, big bizz, and a very large buzz, she 
lifted up her feet, and flew straight to the jar 
where Philli was jammed, and, as a piece of 
the web still clung to her foot, she dangled it 
over the edge of the jar. 

Philli was all under but 17,000 eyes and one 
foot. With his 17,000 eyes, he saw rope, 
and with his one foot, he clutched it! Then 
Miss Acia Galacia pulled on the rope, and 
Philli was saved!!! 

As they flew away together, Philli thanked 
her many times, but suddenly, he stopped 
and said: “I have a cousin — Nahum Bum, 
who is in trouble — by his hum. Will you 
help me save him? Come!” 

Miss Acia and Philli soon discovered Nahum 
Bum, and by tugging, and by pulling, dragged 
his leg out from the gum. 

Nahum was so grateful, he kept on saying; 
“Hum! oh! hum!!!!” 


82 ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 

The three now flew to the window in the 
sun, to join the merry band of flies, all having 
fun. Here Philli found his father and his 
mother, his sister and his brother, and all the 
other little flies he knew. 

All the long , long , summer day , 

Little Philli spent in play; — 

Flying , flitting , here and there; 

Dashing, dallying in the air; 

Creeping, leaping on the sill; 

Whisking, frisking with a will; 
Skipping, darting out of sight , 

Gliding, sliding in his flight; 

Prancing, dancing, skip-a-hopping. 
Rushing, brushing, flipping, flopping; 

Buzzing gaily all the time, 

In a kind of merry rhyme; 

All the friends of Philli too. 

Loudly buzzed and gaily flew. 

Miss Galacia bizz-buzzed some, 

But Nahum only muttered “Hum!” 

All the day was spent in play. When 
night came the Bakery grew dark and cool 


ADVENTURES OF PHILLI FLIFLIT 83 

and quiet, and Philli and his friends were 
chilly and sleepy too. The ceiling still was 
warm, so all the little Fliflits fastened their 
feet to the warmest spots, and went — upside 
down — to sleep. 

But first they softly, very softly, whispered 
to themselves their “good-night ” song: — 

“Asus — esus — isus — osus , 

Avass — evuss — ivuss — ovuss, 

{slower) 

Arusss — erusss — irusss — orusss , 

(still slower) 

Amussss — emussss — imussss — om ” 

All asleep! ! ! 


















WEE AND BEE 


This is the story of Wee and Bee , 
Who lived in the Land of Abbitibee. 



O ctober had 

come. In the wild 
wood, all the trees 
that could, dressed them- 
selves in bright array, and 
put on every color gay. 

The sun went down, the moon came up; 
the big, round moon of yellow gold, that 
always comes when nights are cold, peeped 
thro the trees as if to see the little twin 
Beavers — Wee and Bee — playing ‘‘bounce 
and pounce/’ in greatest glee. 

On one side of the bank on which they 
played, was their summer home in the forest 
glade, — a little hut of twigs and reeds, 
exactly suited to their needs. 

On the other side was the river, the Swish- 
wish-wash-a-whirl River, called on the map, 
“The Abbitibee,” the play-ground home of 
Wee and Bee. 

Weemie pounced Beemie and flounced 
away; then Beemie trounced Weemie, a 
little — in play — and they tumbled and 


88 


WEE AND BEE 


fumbled about, anyway. Their little fur 
jackets that fitted so tight, were all shimmer 
and glimmer, in the bright moonlight. They 
were as happy as happy could be — dear little, 
queer little Wee and Bee. 

Snip ! Snap ! ! Snup ! ! ! 

“What’s that?” cried Weemie, stopping 
her play to listen. 

Snip!! Snap!!! Snup!!!! Snip!!!!!! 

“Oh! I know!” replied Beemie; “it’s 
mother biting wood, down the canal; she’s 
coming — can’t you hear her humming? Now 
we’ll have to be good.” 

Mother Keeva Veeva Brunhilda Eva was 
an exceedingly talented Beaver, as a mud- 
lugger and heaver ; a twig-twister and weaver ; 
she had much to do, and did it, too. She was 
a very busy Beaver. 

Her engineering skill was great and she 
had many plans in her mind; but, at present, 
her chief cares were a mud and wood dam, 
a mud and stick home, and a mud and twig 
tunnel. She was teaching Wee and Bee to help 
o’ nights. When she was away, she let the 
twins play, but always after tea, the three 
had lessons, a kind of school, with just one 
rule, — 


WEE AND BEE 


89 


“Watch Mother and Do Just What She 
Does.” 

The twins had for their supper, a piece of 
birch bark apiece, and a nibble of willow. 

The first lesson was cutting wood with 
teeth. 

Mother Keeva Veeva could make the chips 
fly and cause a great tree both broad and 
high, with banners of leaves brightly spread 
to the sky, — to creak and crack, and totter 
— and — fall — ’mid rustling leaves and 
tusseling twigs, and breaking branches — to 
fall to the earth, and lie there, and — die ! 

Wee and Bee each tried a baby tree. 

Said Wee! “Oh! see me, Bee, bite this 
tree!” 

Then she would snip — and clip — and 
chip the trunk, and the little tree would fall 
kerplunk ! 

Bee was longer and stronger than Wee, 

But he couldn't do as well as she; 

1 think that he was a bit of a shirk, 

For he was fonder of eating than work; 

While Mother and Wee were cutting wood. 

He was slyly eating all he could . 

But greedy ones must always pay 
For what they take in a secret way, 


90 


WEE AND BEE 


And Bee — well, he — had to pay his fee, 

For he ate so much he couldnH see; 

Got in the way, and was humped by a tree. 

It hurt him so, it made him cry; 

“I never more will eat on the sly!" 

The second lesson was a better one; to be 
in the river was lots more fun. 

Wee and Bee could swim races without 
wetting their faces; they learnt how to shut 
their noses, ears, and eyes; how to dive, and 
when to rise. 

But their mother called them for the third 
lesson, — to the dam, and showed them how 
to place the wood, and weave with twigs until 
it stood, to make broad bases, firm arches 
and spans; to put strong braces in their 
proper places, and carry out her best-laid 
plans. 

For the fourth and last lesson, she taught 
them the uses of mud, — how to mix and fix 
faster, — how to mold, and to plaster, and, 
above all — how to master the mud. 

While they were busy, as only Beavers 
know how to be, suddenly, from way up high, 
out of the clear and starry sky, they heard a 
loud and shrill-voiced cry, — 



But their mother called them for the third lesson , — to 
the dam , and showed them how to place the wood , 
and weave with twigs until it stood. 




92 


WEE AND BEE 


“Honk! Honk!! Honk!!! Honk!!!!” 

Then again, a little fainter, and farther 
away: “H-o-n-k! H-o-n-k!!!” 

“What is it?” cried Wee and Bee! 

Mother Keeva Veeva Brunhilda Eva was 
very well-informed — for a Beaver. 

“’Tis the lame , lone goose, flying south” said she; 
Her cry will warn all land and sea; 

That winter is near — my Wee and Bee l” 


II 

Again ’twas night, now colder bright. 

Wee and Bee had finished lessons, one, two, 
three, and were having a five-minutes recess. 

“Let’s play,” said Wee. 

“What?” said Bee. 

“Swim tag,” cried Wee. 

“I’m ‘it,’” cried Bee. 

Bee was so fat, he couldn’t catch Wee, and 
she was bubbling with water and glee, when 
roar and clash, and pour and crash, — the dam 
above them, went to smash! 

For the bank, they made a dash, and climbed 
it just in time, for the terrible flood came, the 
River Swish-wish-wash-a-whirl (or Abbitibee), 


WEE AND BEE 


93 


was changed in a minute, from a rollicking 
little stream, to a mad and tempestuous 
torrent. 

All Wee and Bee could see, was a black, 
muddy seeth of water, full of tossing trunks 
of toppled trees, making showers of spray, 
and festoons of foam. 

Weemie cuddled close to Beemie. “I hope 
mother’s safe,” said she. 

“Of course,” returned Beemie; “mother is 
the best swimmer in the world.” 

Weemie cuddled a little closer. “I wish 
she would come!” 

“I suppose the dam is all destroyed,” said 
Bee. 

“I don’t care a bit, if mother’s safe,” said 
Wee. 

After awhile, the water went down a little, 
but was still so full of broken trees the two 
little Beavers did not dare venture in to 
search for their mother. 

They saw Keego, the river-fish, and called 
in unison: 

“ HA VE— YOU— SEEN— M-O-T-H-E-R ? ” 

“No,” said the fish, “but if you wish, my 
fins I’ll swish, likewise my tail, and swim and 
find her — never fail.” 


94 


WEE AND BEE 


“ Please do,” cried Bee. 

“And thank you, too,” said Wee. 

They also politely asked Shuh-Shuh-Gale, 
the blue Heron, but he stood on one leg, and 
arched his head, and crossly said, “Quonk! 
Quonk! go to bed! !” 

They were very sad and Bee began to cry; 

“ How can I go to bed?” he said, 

“ Unless my mother fats my head? 

1 hate the rustling leaves on high, 

The pretty moon-tracks in the sky ; 

1 hate the river rushing by” 

(( Hush!” said Wee; 66 don't hate, dear Bee; 
When mother comes she must not see 
That we were bad as well as sad; 

Let's work, and then she will be glad” 

They dried their tears and hushed their 
fears, plunged into the river, much safer now, 
and went to work to repair the damaged dam. 
Then Wee made a little song: 

(6 Work! work! work! 

All the night through; 

Whether sad or happy. 

There is work to do” 


WEE AND BEE 


95 


They could not really sing, or hum, or even 
mutter, but, inside their little jackets, their 
little hearts would flutter, and feel the music 
of the words they could not utter. 

Wee was the weaver Beaver; she could 
fix sticks, and mix mud better than Bee, but 
he could plaster faster than she. He soon 
became a master plasterer, but he had one 
little disaster. 

In the Beaver’s house, the outside door is 
in the middle of the floor; you dive — and 
duck — and chuck ! — you’re in ! ! 

Now Bee was loaded down with mud, twice 
what he had lugged before. As he was diving 
for the door, he thought he felt his load 
slipping, so, he hugged the mud — he lugged 
— a good deal more. 

Well, he missed the door, and went slam 
against the dam, gave his head an awful ram, 
and his foot an extra jam, which made it 
sore. 

Wee was putting mud plaster on a rafter. 
She saw Bee meet with his disaster, and 
couldn’t help a little laughter! 

I’m sorry to state what came after! ! ! 

Bee was so cross (his head black and blue, 
and a sore toe, too), that he chased his little 


96 


WEE AND BEE 


sister, intending to cuff her, but he — (and 
I’m glad of it), he — missed her! 

At that moment was heard a swish, and 
like a dart, came Keego, the fish. 

“I’ve great good news, my dears,” said he; 
“I’ve found your mother, Wee and Bee!” 

Ill 

Mother Keeva Veeva Brunhilda Eva was 
carried down by the flood, and left in the 
middle of a jam of logs and sticks. There 
seemed to be no crack large enough for her 
to crawl thro, so she went to work to nibble 
her way out. 

After awhile, she found that, work as fast 
as she could, it would take about a week to 
chew thro. Then she determined what to 
do. She took some tiny pieces of birch 
bark, and made signs on them with her teeth, 
and, in a tiny crack on the corner of every 
piece, she put one of her own soft, brown 
hairs. Then she let the pieces float out be- 
tween the logs down the river. These were 
beaver telegrams, and every Beaver who 
found one, would come to help her out7 

When Keego came, she told him all about 


WEE AND BEE 


97 


it, and he went back for Bee and Wee. But 
before Keego had time to tell all the story to 
the twins, there was a sound of — “Quonk! 
Quonk!” and Shuh-Shuh-Gale, the Heron, 
had Keego, the fish, in his bill, and had flown 
to his nest in the top of a tall tree nearby. 

“Let me go!” cried Keego. Said Shuh- 
Shuh-Gale / 4 Oh! no!!” 

Wee was angry as she could be, and so was 
Bee, to see their friend thus carried away. 
They swam to the shore, and rushed to the 
tree, and began to bite, with all their might. 

Now, it was Shuh-Shuh’s turn to be 
troubled. He had a wife and two beautiful 
long-legged children in the nest; if the tree 
should break, his wife could fly out, but his 
beautiful children would fall and die ! 

“Stop cutting this tree,” from the top, 
screamed he. 

“Oh no! unless you let friend Keego go, 
we’ll keep right on!” cried Bee and Wee! 

Shuh-Shuh-Gale loved his children, so he 
had to let poor Keego go. Soon in the river, 
the three were swimming side by side. Said 
Keego, “How can I ever thank you, Bee and 
Wee — you did so much in saving me?” 

“No thanks required,” said Wee and Bee; 


98 


WEE AND BEE 


“you helped us first to find our mother, and 
‘one good turn deserves another.’” 

Before the three had time to swim far, 
they saw a crowd of Beavers coming up the 
river. The twins cried together in glee: “It’s 
mother! She’s free, and she’s bringing all 
the other Beavers, to have a building bee!” 

’Twas so, and all went right to work. 
There were Chuck Chubby, and Chug, — 
strong luggers of mud; Big Bistar, and his 
little sister Wistar; the former, a mud-former 
and patter; the latter, a twig-twister. 

Kinny Keaver, a very old Beaver, and a 
wonderful weaver; Dut Tutter, a heavy wood- 
cutter, and Ita Mita, a lighter biter; Pollux 
and Castor, who could plaster, and many 
others, all ready to work. 

Mother Keeva Veeva Brunhilda Eva had 
the plan of the dam in her head, and every 
one worked just as she said, and did their 
very best indeed, including Bee and Wee, 
who both were just as happy as little Beavers 
can be. 

At last the long night's work is done , 

And , at the rising of the sun , 

The great dam stretches from shore to shore; 
And over it the waters pour ; 


WEE AND BEE 


99 


Behind it rises up the dome 
Of Wee's and Bee's snug winter home; 

And so, when winter comes with snow. 

And ice will crack, and cold winds blow. 
Well housed and warm will Wee and Bee be 
In the midst of the river Abbitibee! 


































































































































































































































































MISS MERRIE MOTH 


Such summer nights! 
Such dew delights! 



M ISS MERRIE MOTH dressed for 
dinner, in a dainty gown of rose- 
pink down, with ornaments of 

yellow. 

As soon as the moisty meadow had lighted 
its evening lamps, and the Froggies had begun 
to tune their voices, the Evening Primrose 
Palace opened its portals, and poured forth 
the sweetest perfumes into the balmy air. 

The golden halls appeared very tempting 
to Miss Merrie Moth, and the delicious odors 
reminded her of all that she liked best; so, 
into a lovely Primrose room she went, and 
took a plate of honey, and a glass of dew. 

But while she was within, a gentle rain 
began outside to play a game of tit-tat-too. 
Miss Merrie knew, ’twould never do, to wet 
her gown of rose-pink down; she did not try 
to venture forth, but took another plate of 
honey, and another glass of dew. 

It rained so long, the night got tired and 
went away, and, in its place, came dawn of 


104 


MISS MERRIE MOTH 


day; but all the while, Miss Merrie Moth 
contentedly was tasting honey — sipping 
dew! 

At early daylight time, she sleepy grew, 
and, as the rain, when asked to stop, was 
obstinate, and kept right on, Miss Merrie 
took a nap. 

No sooner had she closed her eyes than sun- 
rise came, and all the golden halls of Prim- 
rose Palace shut their doors — because that 
is the rule. 

When Miss Merrie Moth awakened, the 
earth was bright with noonday light, which 
hurt her eyes. 

(Moths’ eyes, you know, are weak in light, 
but they are very strong at night.) 

To the shadiest corner of the Hall she went, 
and waited for the night, and, as she had not 
much to do — she took a glass or two of dew 
— and ate a little honey — too. 

Night came to end that day, as it is always 
sure to do; but when it came, and the golden 
doors were opened wide, Miss Merrie went 
away. 

But as she was already dressed , 

And knew she looked her very best, 


MISS MERRIE MOTH 


105 


To another Primrose Hall she went , 

And every cent she had , — she spent — ? — 
For honey — 
and — 
for — dew! 



TOODLE, THE POODLE 


Every dog must have his day: 
Why not make it every day? 


Morning 


I T was summer, and a nice “Dog-day.” 
Toodle, the poodle, was so happy he 
rolled and rolled in the dust, and cuddled 
his paws, and smiled with his nose. 

Most of the little happies went to his tail, 
which thumped and bumped and wiggy- 
wagged, until it seemed as if it must get loose 
and go jumping away all alone in its glee. 

But it didn’t. 

It stuck. 

Toodle, the poodle, was so extraordinarily 
happy because he was going to have — guess 
what? You can’t! HIS DAY ! ! ! 

“Every dog has his day,” and this was 
Toodle’s. He had it, and he knew he had it, 
but he was so happy he didn’t know what to 
do with it. 


110 


TOODLE, THE POODLE 


Evening 

Toodle, the poodle, was so sad ! His little 
ears hung limp and forlorn, his little tail lost 
all its wags, his little feet were so tired! All 
the sads and sorrowfuls that could get into 
such a little fellow, were in him. 

His day was done; all the little funs and 
frolics were gone; all the roily tumbles, all 



the jolly jumps and rushing runs, were over. 

Even his little bark was sore, and would 
not, could not, bark a bit more. 

He didn’t want to eat, or think, or sleep. 
He wanted to be sad, and — and — bad! 



TOODLE, THE POODLE 


111 


Poor little Poodle Toodle! 

Cheer up, dear little doggie, don't he downcast, 

You shall have another day, when night is past; 

All the same old happies will come up with the sun; 
And your tiny tail will have new wags. 
And all the sods and bads 
Will turn to fun ! 









IN AN APPLE 


It's safer far to stick to the core: 
Success will come to the slower goer . 



I N the core of an apple, dwelt Cora with 
her brother and her sister, Willie Worm 
and Winnie Worm. 

Their mamma was a Butterfly lady who 
had flown away. 

It was a fine flavored, juicy house, and the 
wormkins found it very convenient to eat 
their home and live in it at the same time. 

If they wished a new room , they could eat a bit more 
For breakfast, which would give them the door; 

For dinner and supper eat all they could store , 

And finish the room from ceiling to floor. 

When you eat your own rooms you relish them more. 

Cora stayed in the core, because she knew 
that was safest, but Willie Worm would 
nibble all over the house, — I should say, — 
apple. 

Winnie Worm would wander wherever 
Willie Worm went. 


116 


IN AN APPLE 


Willie wouldn't stay in the core , 

He tried hard to get “out of door ,” 

Made rooms and tunnels by the score , 

And ate up almost all the floor. 

He made so many back-stairs, and caves, 
and dark passages, and trap-doors, and 
cellars, and cubby-holes, and crooks, and 
corners, that poor little Winnie couldn’t help 
getting lost; and Cora would have to bring 
her back to the core. 

One day, Willie Worm ate right thro the 
rosy, red skin of his apple home and saw the 
outside world. 

“Oh! Winnie ," he cried , 

“I'm going outside !" 

“Oh! Willie , don't go. 

You'll fall, I know!" 

But Willie was wilful. He wanted to go, so 
he went. 

“It’s bright out here, on this shining out- 
side world. You ought to come. Just watch 
me; I feel so frisky. I’ll show you what I 
can do.” 


IN AN APPLE 


117 


Timid little Winnie put her head out of 
the hole just in time to see Willie fall on 
the slippery surface, slide, turn swiftly in 
the air; and — disappear, no one knows 
where. 

Winnie was so frightened, she could hardly 
crawl back to the core and Cora. 

Cora was sorry, and wept — real warm 
worm tears — such as any worm would; but 
she said, “It’s safer to stick to the core and I 
told Willie so. If he had only waited for 
the thump ! 

We must!” 

They did. 

It came ! ! ! 

The apple house was now on the ground 
and Cora and Winnie knew it would do to 
leave the core and go “out door.” 

It seemed very chilly, so they made their 
winter beds, rolled themselves tight in many 
blankets, and went to sleep. 

They slept all winter and never heard the 
cold winds blow or felt the snow. 

When the spring days came, they opened 
their beds, and — flew out!!! 


118 


IN AN APPLE 


Such a wonderful sleep it had been. 

They were much changed. 

Even their names were changed. 

They were now the Misses Coraline and 
Winsome BUTTERFLY. 



CHUFFY’S MISHAP 

OR 

THE CAUSE OF CAWS 





ii* 'nr S MISHAP 


OR 

THE CAUSE OF CAWS 


H IGH up in the air, on the topmost 
branch of a towering pine, was a 
rough, scraggy nest, — little Chuffy ’s 

home. 

His brothers had just found out how to use 
their wings, and flown away, but Chuffy had 
somehow pushed a foot thro a crack in the 
floor, and was caught. 

“Paw! Paw!” he cried, but heard no 
answering “Caw” from his father, for Paw 
Caw was far away. 

Chuffy gave his leg a pull, a twist, a turn, 
and a jerk; but it would not budge. 

“Maw! Maw!” he screamed, but heard 
no answering “Caw” from his mother, for 
Maw Caw was far away. 



122 


chuffy’s mishap 


Paw and Maw Caw had a good reason for 
deserting; they knew that as long as the 
youngsters were waited upon they would 
make no effort to leave the nest; and since 
they were big and strong and fully able to 
fly, it was time they looked out for them- 
selves, — so Paw and Maw Caw flew away 
to Cawmore Moor. 

It was Chuffy’s fault. He should have 
flopped his wings, before stretching his legs. 
Then too, if he had not been lazy and waited 
till the very last one, his brothers might have 
helped him. 

He was stuck, there was no doubt about 
that ! 

He couldn’t think of anything else to do, 
so he kept calling “Paw” and “Ma-a-w” 
until he had uttered 713 “Paws” and 698 
“Maws.” 

At the 1411th, which happened to be a 
“Paw,” he heard an answering “Caw,” and 
saw what he thought was Maw Caw circling 
toward him. 

It proved to be Uncle Croaker, who, being 
something of a joker, at once began to poke 
fun. 

“Pshaw!” chaffed Uncle Croaker;— 


chuffy’s mishap 


123 


“caught your claw! Pshaw! Pshaw! What 
are you about? Why don’t you pull it out? 
You can’t? Pshaw ! I don’t wonder ! Such 
a nest ! A perfect blunder ! ! Your Paw and 
Maw don’t know the simplest tricks in laying 
sticks. Pshaw ! This nest was never bill-built, 
— it was probably claw-hauled together ! ! ! 
Pshaw ! P-s-h-a-w ! ! ! P-S-H-A- W ! ! ! ! 
Come here, Jack Daw and Chock Daw ! 
Come down here, Joe Chocard ! Stop that 
Cornish Chough ! All you fellows — come 
here — look at this nest ! It’s the worst 
piece of work I ever saw ! Pshaw — I could 
do better with one claw ! !” 

Uncle Croaker guffawed and pshaw- 
pshawed, and Chock Daw and Jack Daw 
and Joe Chocard and the Cornish Chough 
haw-hawed and caw-cawed. 

Poor little Chuffy was quite overlooked. 

“Caw,” he said, — “instead of making fun 
of my nest, you might be getting me out of it ! ” 

“Pshaw!” croaked Uncle Croaker, “that’s 
easy ! We’ll pull you out ! Here, fellows, 
each grab a bunch of his feathers in your bill, 
and when I count three, pull with a will. 
Here Jack — Joe — this side; now — ready — 
one — two — THREE!!!” 


chuffy’s mishap 


124 

At the word, they pulled, and immediately 
the air was filled with feathers, and right after, 
with caw-caws and haw-haws, and other 
varieties of crow laughter. 

All seemed to be having great fun, except 
Chuff y. When he saw they were going to 
try again, he said; “Don’t — I beg of you — 
pull out any more of my feathers; it hurts! 
If you can’t get the whole lump of me out at 
once, I shall stay here — and save my pieces.” 

“Pshaw!” said Uncle Croaker, “don’t 
work yourself into a temper. We’ll get you 
out. Chock, what do you advise?” 

Chock Daw uttered a “caw,” scratched his 
beak with his claw, puffed his feathers to 
twice natural size, blinked his eyes, tried to 
look wise, and said : — * 

“ Caw ! — the best plan would be, — to 
fly twenty miles to the sea, and each get a 
leech from the beach, to draw out his claw.” 

“Pshaw!” shouted Uncle C. “That’s not 
what leeches are for!” 

“ Leeches can draw 'persisted Chock Daw . 

“ But not a claw!" 

“ LEECHES CAN DRAW ! ! /” 

“ BUT NOT A CLAW !! !" 


chuff y ’ s mishap 


125 


“Caw, caw!" here cried the Cornish Chough; 

“ Why do you two get into a stew. 
When 1 know what to do. 

Well enough ? 

With our good stout bills. 

And determined wills. 

We’ll 'peck at the stump. 

Till we pick it thro. 

And this tree falls, thump! 

I’m ready — are you ? ” 

They all went down at once and worked. 

And peeked, and pecked, and picked, and 
perked. 

They might have succeeded in a week or two, 

If they had kept right on as they started to do; 
But they didn’t gain much, and this was the 
cause; — 

After every pick they made a pause, 

And uttered a dozen or two of “caws’’ — 

A lot of “haws,’’ and a score of “pshaws." 

Meanwhile, Chuffy was getting hungry. 
“I wish you would really do something,” he 
shouted, “so that I can get out and have 
something to eat.” 

“Caw!" 

“Pshaw!" 


126 


chuffy’s mishap 


“Haw, haw!” suddenly laughed Jack Daw, 
— “I’ve the best plan yet! Dropping heavy 
stones from a great height will make holes in 
the nest, and if a stone happens to make a 
hole just right, Chuff y himself can do the 
rest.” 

“Naw! Naw!” quickly exclaimed Chuffy; 
“if any stone from a great height happens 
to hit me, I’ll be in a plight ! If I can’t get 
out soon, I shall starve to death. Would 
any one be kind enough to get me some food? 
Anything would do; I should be very grateful 
for a nubble of corn.” 

Con-sternation among the older birds. 
Uncle Croaker was the first to regain his 
composure. 

“Chuffy,” he said severely, “let us have no 
nonsense. While we are doing all in our power 
to set you free, you must not bother us with 
any silly requests. — Now, boys, what shall 
we try next? None of you got an idea? 
Well — it does not much matter. We’ll all 
turn to and make a noise; it may not do 
Chuffy any good, but it will be fun for us.” 

Soon Cawdom was filled with a din. There 
ensued a flittering, fluttering, and flopping of 
wings, a bawling and squalling, and croaking. 



“Chutfy”he said severely , “let us have no nonsense 
while we are doing all in our power to set you free. 



128 


chuffy’s mishap 


Chuffy, excited by the others, added his 
caws; but that did not help his cause. He 
was so weak from hunger, his voice was soon 
gone. The others, having had plenty of 
corn, could caw on. 

They Did 

At last, Jack Daw, having haw-hawed 
himself hoarse, stopped to rest on the edge of 
the nest, and saw that ChufTy was almost 
too faint to make any complaint. Jack was 
not as black as he looked; he had a kind of 
a kind heart, and as he had had all the noise 
he wanted, he determined to take the little 
fellow’s part.- 

“Haw, haw!” he laughed kindly, “we 
will soon have you out of this. All you 
fellows, stop your noise, and listen to me; 
I’ve the very best plan, as you’ll soon see, — 

To get the little one out, we must make him jump. 

To make him jump, we must scare him. 

To scare him, we'll tell him a frightful tale. 

To tell a frightful tale, we must see a fright. 

To see a fright, we have only to go, — 

To yonder field; there's a 
SCARE-CROW!” 






V 


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o 


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The din should be magnified 600 times 


ySHA-'tf 


130 


chuffy’s mishap 


They went, perched on the fence, and made 
remarks. 

“Haw! Haw!!! Any crow would know 
that was not a man.” 

“Pshaw! his face is straw!” 

“Caw ! Only one leg, and no head ! What 
clothes ! His buttons are all gone — ate one 
myself — thought ’twas a corn.” 

“Haw, haw, haw ! ! ! No crow would ever 
think that stick a gun !” 

“Pshaw, — there’s not a bit of scare to 
that scare-crow, but we must scare Chuffy to 
make him jump. We’ll deceive him. 

We'll tell such a tale of a horrible fright. 

That poor Chuffy' s hair will soon turn white ; 

But since he hasn't any hair on his head. 

No doubt his feathers will turn instead . 

The fear we inspire will make his teeth chatter ; 

He hasn't any teeth, but that doesn't matter; 

With alarm and dismay, his soul we'll fill. 

Until in his frenzy, he'll chatter his bill . 

It will be such a night-mar e-ish, bugaboo tale. 

With abject terror, his cheek will pale; 

Tho strictly speaking , it cannot be so — 

Only flour and chalk can pale a crow'' 


chuffy’s mishap 


131 


There was a short pause, a couple of caws, 
then Uncle Croaker continued: — 

“ When I have set the youngster free, 

How very happy he will he. 

And full of gratitude to me; 

And Vll he proud as I can he. 

Then every time I tell the tale, 

Til fluff my feathers — flirt my tail; 

Till birds I meet on land and shore. 

Will sing my praises o'er and o'er. 

In future ages yet to come, 

A hillion hills with praise will hum; 

And Uncle Croaker he the name 
Placed highest in the halls of fame!" 

Uncle Croaker went on and on in his own 
praise, never noticing that after the first 
verse, the Cornish Chough got enough, and 
left in a huff ; — that after the ninth, Jack 
Daw gave a yawn, and flew away to another 
field of corn; — that at the 23rd, he remained 
the only bird. He kept right on, at each 
verse growing more and more absurd, until 
he reached the 63rd ; — then — because he 
couldn’t think of any more self-praise to 


132 


chuffy’s mishap 


pour out in lays, he made a pause, — and 
waited for applause. 

To his great surprise, his friends were gone, 
but instead, there sat Chuffy on the scare- 
crow’s head, contentedly nibbling a nubble 
of corn. 



Uncle Croaker was angry. “Why didn’t 
you wait for me to save you?” 

“Be- cause — ”, answered Chuffy, — “all 
your pshaws and caws and haws didn’t help 
my cause. When I found that all your talk 
and your noise did not budge me a bit, I 
grew all at once to a full-fledger — from a 


chuffy’s mishap 


133 


chit — braced up, — sharpened up my wit a 
bit, — picked my own claw free, — stretched 
my wings, — had a flit, — 

AND HERE I SIT !” 

All Uncle Croaker said was : — 
“PSHAW!!!” 



PEEP PEEP 



First Day 

I ’M in a shell. I don’t 
know how I got in; 
but I think I shall 
pick my way out. 



Second Day 

I’m out. I picked. I 
don’t see how that shell 
ever held me. 



Third Day 
I have a mother. She 
is named hen. I thought 
at first ’twas feathers, 
but it turned out to be 
mother. 



138 


PEEP PEEP 


Fourth Day 

This is the greatest 
day of my life. I found 
a worm. I found it all by 
myself. Mother clucked 
and told me where to 
look, but I did my own 
scratching. 



Fifth Day 



It is fine to get up high 
and see the world. I got 
on mother’s back, and I 
could see everything. I 
suppose there are not 
many chickens as smart 
as I am. 


Sixth Day 



I wish that giant, called 
“ Little Girl,” that brings 
our meal, could under- 
stand our language. She 
seems to think my name 
is: — “Chick, Chick!” 
but mother calls me: — 
“Cluck!” 


PEEP PEEP 


139 


Seventh Day 

I want to leave mother, 
go out into the world, and 



be a big rooster. I know 

more than she does now, * 

— that is — in the daytime; but when night 
comes and mother calls: “Cluck! Cluck!” 
I like better to be under her warm wing. 


Peep! Peep! 



TIPPIE’S VACATION 






•' TOME^mCAM 


I 


IPPIE was planning her vacation. 



She hadn’t much time for that, for 


the spring-cleaning was on, and 


there were 953 things to do. 

At the 481st, which happened to be a stone 
chair to air, she had already tugged it thro 
the hall and pantry, down to the cellar, then 
thro each of the seventeen rooms in turn, 
and had just reached the next-to-the-top 
stair of the tenth flight, when — she fell, and 
— landed in the cellar. 

She wasn’t hurt a bit. 

“Only,” as she said to herself; “it is such 
a bother to do things over! I must stop 
thinking vacation till I get my work done.” 


144 


tippie’s vacation 


She tried, but she couldn’t. 

Every time she reached the next-to-the- 
top stair of the tenth flight, she would think 
of the delightful time she was going to have, 
and — fall to the cellar ! 

At the fifth fall, she made up her mind. 

“Miss Myra,” she called, “please come 
here ! You know I never had a vacation ! 
I intended to wait till house-cleaning was 
done, but, at the rate I get along, I shall 
never finish; so, I may as well take it now. 
It’s half -past three. Good-bye !” 

She ran nimbly to her room, packed her 
antennae curler, and was off ! 

It was a soft, sleepy spring day, and thou- 
sands of pussies sunning themselves on the 
willows; and thousands of bumblers, droning 
among the dandelions, kept teazing Tippie 
to stop. 

But Tippie thought it would not do to be- 
gin a vacation by stopping, so she hurried on. 

On the outskirts of Antic, as she was pass- 
ing the New Fangled Formicoid Fudge Fac- 
tory, some one called her name. 

It was Miss Myra’s Aunt Annie Ant, stand- 
ing at her door. Behind her, stood the two 
other Aunt Ants. 


tippie’s vacation 


145 


“Come in!” said Aunt Annie Ant, kindly. 

“Yes Ido!” said Aunt Fannie Ant, politely. 

“Enter!” said Aunt Hannah Ant, peremp- 
torily. 

Tippie entered. She didn’t like to refuse 
Aunt Annie Ant, or displease Aunt Fannie 
Ant, or oppose Aunt Hannah Ant. 

She sat on the cushioned seat in the cosy 
corner retreat, and comfortably cuddled up 
her feet. 

She thought she could afford to lose a few 
minutes of her vacation in such a nice place, 
and chattered about her hopes of reaching 
the city. 

The Aunt Ants gave her a warm welcome, 
some cold honey, and a few grains of advice. 

Said Aunt Annie Ant: — “Don’t get into 
any place, where you can’t get out !” 

Said Aunt Fanny Ant: — “Don’t talk to 
any one you know nothing about !” 

Said Aunt Hannah Ant: — “Don’t go on ! 
Go back home ! Go to work ! Stick it out !” 

Tippie said she would try to follow all the 
advice, except Aunt Hannah’s. 

Before she left, they showed her about, 
and Aunt Annie Ant explained the rooms. 
She said: “We enter first the Ante-room; 


146 


tippie’s vacation 


the next three are the Aunties’ rooms; — this 
tiny one is called the Anti-room, because it 
is really not a room, but a shed. These are 
all the rooms we need for our little household; 
and all our little house will hold. This 
tunnel to the door, is our house hole. 

“Now you have seen the whole house, the 
whole household, the house-hole, and all the 
house holds; do come some day and see 
the rest !” 

Tippie politely said she would if she could. 

II 

It was late. 

Since leaving the Aunt Ants’, Tippie had 
trudged on, only stopping long enough to 
climb a roadside rose, for a glass of honey- 
milk, from the Aphis Dairy. 

Now night had come, Tippie couldn’t tell 
which way to go, so she spoke to a gentle- 
manly Cricket, who was blithely singing, in a 
nearby thicket, and asked the way. 

“What way?” said the Cricket. 

“Any way; I am not at all particular; 
but I would like a way.” 

“Where do you wish to go?” 


tippie’s vacation 


147 


“ Anywhere; so long as I get — some- 
where ! ” 

“Well,” said Cricket, “there’s any old way; 
would that do?” 

“I think not; I must have come that 
way.” 

“Then you’d better try the K. N. W. Y. W. 
E. G. T. O. N. Express.” 

“I will,” said Tippie. 

“I’ll show you the station. Follow me!” 
and Mr. Cricket hurried off at such a pace, 
that Tippie was certainly black in the face, 
trying to keep up. This is a fact; tho’ all 
Tippie’s race are black in the face, whether 
they keep the pace, or not. 

They came to another thicket, where, at a 
wicket, stood another Cricket, waiting to 
take Tippie’s ticket. 

But Tippie had no ticket ! What should 
she do? 

She crossed her antennae and had an idea ! 
“Would you take a Beggar-tick for a ticket?” 
she asked. 

“No — Miss — that wouldn’t be a fair 
fare !” 

“Hum!” said Tippie, opening her Shep- 
herd’s Purse, “all I have are seeds, heretofore 


148 


tippie’s vacation 


sufficient for my needs; among my store of a 
score or more — .” 

Here the Cricket interrupted her: “How 
far do you wish to go?” 

“As far as I may, for the fare I can pay.” 

“In that case, as you have only seeds for 
pay, a caraway will carry you quite a way, 
today.” 

Tippie paid her fare, politely thanked the 
gentlemanly Cricket for his escort, and fol- 
lowed the ticket-taking Cricket thro the 
wicket, in the thicket, to a massive pile of 
golden carrots. 

“This — Miss,” said the official, pointing 
to the very top of the pile, “is your car.” 

“It looks,” said Tippie, “very much like a 
carrot !” 

“People,” replied the Cricket, “insist on 
adding those last three letters; but this com- 
pany prefers to forget them, and calls this a 
car. Whatever you may call it, I assure you, 
this particular car (or carrot), will go to the 
city, miles away ! So, take your seat in 
section 3, behind this leaf. Hold on tight at 
any joggles thro the night; you’ll get there 
all right. Good night!” He was gone and 
out of sight. 


tippie’s vacation 


149 


III 

Tippie curled her antennae and counted 
her seeds, expecting to go to sleep; but, 
peeping beneath her berth, she saw: — 

Seven Specks of Dust 

which she felt it her duty to unearth. 

After she had done that, she made a close 
inspection of every other section, and found : — 

NINETY-ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND 
SEVENTY-FOUR SPECKS OF DUST ! 

“No sleep for me,” she mused; “what if I 
am on a vacation, I don’t want a dusty one ! 
I will have a clean vacation if I have to work 
the whole time!” 

So, she began to peek about, into and 
under, over and thro, every section; to poke 
above, across, along, around, among, amidst, 
against, and after, every seat; to pick behind, 
before, betwixt, between, below, beyond, 
beside, and beneath, every bed ; and was going 
to — when there came the sound of a tremen- 
dous tramping, and a giant voice roared: — 


150 


tippie’s vacation 


“ JVboa ! Back!! 
Stand still!!!" 

A great something snorted, and Tippie’s 
car (or carrot) was hurled thro the air, and 
landed with several hard thumps, on a wooden 
something, followed by a great sliding, rolling, 
and falling of all the other car (rots). The 
giant voice shouted! — “Geedap !” and — 
“We have started!!!” exclaimed Tippie 
excitedly. 

“I should say so !” piped a wee, wee voice, 
close by. 

Tippie was surprised to see in the next 
section, a dainty little Lady Bird, in a fashion- 
able dress of red, with black spots. 

“And such a start!” continued the wee 
lady. “At the first bump, my bag flew open; 
at the second jump, my key flew out; at the 
third thump, my wee wad of wing wax went ! 


Oh ! woeful , weary , teary fate , 
With everything in such a state 1 


tippie’s vacation 


151 


I’ve lost my key, and when I get home, the 
door won’t open; if the house is on fire, my 
children will burn !” 

“I wouldn’t worry,” said Tippie; “it’s 
not likely to happen!” 

“It might!” 

“If your house was on fire, couldn’t your 
children fly out of the window?” 

“ Why — yes, of course they could ! Thank 
you ! Thank you for that consoling thought; 
it makes me so happy, I must sing : — 

“Oh! happy , glad , ecstatic day ; 

Amazing, mirthful, merry day — 

Woe’s me ! I mustn’t sing and be glad when 
I ought to be sad ! The key is gone, and I 
can never get into my home again !” 

“Don’t worry. Couldn’t you fly in thro 
the window?” 

“Why! Yes! Of course I could! Thank 
you again ! You make me so happy, I must 
sing: — 

Oh! gladsome, gleesome, glorious day — 

Woe’s me, why do I sing when I should 
weep? How I wish I knew where my wee 


152 


tippie’s vacation 


wad of wonderful, waterproof wing-wax 
went !” 

Tippie picked up a pretty pink packet. 
“Is this it?” she asked. 

The little Lady Bird bubbled with thanks. 
The two then sat on the same seat, and be- 
came friends; but, as soon as Tippie found 
out that the dainty little lady had not had 
her wings waxed for three days, because none 
of her friends would do it for her, our heroine 
begged to be allowed to begin. 

“I mustn’t let you,” said Letitia (her first 
name), “it’s hard work to polish, and you 
are on your vacation ! ” 

But Tippie was firm. “I think it is better 
to be kind,” she said, “than to have 27 
vacations.” 

She went to work wing-waxing, and worked 
all night. 

While Tippie worked, Mrs. Lady Bird 
talked. 

“If we must travel, and our wings are out 
of trim,” she remarked, “or our feet are too 
slow, we have to take the K. N. W. Y. W. E. 
G. T. O. N. Express, and the discomforts that 
go with it; it would be pleasanter if the giant 
called ‘man’ would carry each car to the cart, 


tippie’s vacation 


153 


instead of throwing them; it would suit me 
better if the cart did not have so many creaks, 
or the horse so many jogs; but I suppose that 
neither man, nor horse, nor cart know there 
are passengers aboard. They regard this 
train as a load of carrots ! 

“The ‘Bugville Gazeinit’ advertises this as 
an express, and painted on the side of the 
wagon, in very large letters, is the word — 
EXPRESS — but we travel so un-express- 
like, I am sure it must be an ‘Accommoda- 
tion’ ! 

“As for those initials, my opinion is, they 
stand for — 

Know Not Whether You Will Ever Get 
There Or Not Express!” 

IV 

“Are we there, Mrs. Lady Bird?” 

“Yes, this is the city. But please do not 
call me Mrs. Bird. Call me Letitia Lydia. 
My complete name is Letitia Luella Lucretia 
Lucy Lydia Lady Bird, but, to my friends, 
I am Letitia Lydia. 

“Yes — my friend, the din we are in, pro- 
claims the city; and this noisy chasm be- 


154 


tippie’s vacation 


tween two towering brick walls, is a street; 
those awful screechings that you hear, above 
the general tumult and the roar, are news- 
boys, trying to split the ears of people, so 
they will buy papers.” 

“You’ve been here before!” interrupted 
Tippie. 

“Oh ! my invested interests, yes ! I come to 
the S. A. N. D. Bank, and the N. G. Trust Co. 
quite often. I’ve seen all the sights, climbed 
the highest spires, ridden on ventilators in 
street cars (the very best place); been to a 
banquet in a lady’s hair; (she did not know 
I was there; I enjoyed the lights and the 
odors and went home with my lady and lived 
in her conservatory three weeks, and paid my 
board by eating all her enemies, that is — her 
roses’ foes). I’ve been to the opera in a 
bouquet, and been thrown at the prima- 
donna; I have dined at Delmonico’s and I 
was holding on to Wright’s coat-tail when he 
flew up the Hudson, but — 

Beauties and bouquets , 

Sixes and sevens; 

Beaux and banquets . 

Tens and elevens — 


tippie’s vacation 


155 


how I do chatter ! Here we are, at City 
Hall ! We’ll get off here, my dear. 

“Take care how you land; hold my third 
hand; clasp your curler tight; now — alight — 
to the right.” 

Unfortunately, Tippie failed to jump just 
right, and, as she struck, her feet were bent, 
she rolled into the subway vent, and sank, 
clear out of sight ! But, even as she fell, she 
heard Letitia sobbing : — 

“Ah! woe is me! Ah! woe! Oh! woe! 

Oh ! trickling tears forever flow , 

My dearest friend down , down , doth go! ” 

Tippie was not hurt a bit; her left antenna 
was awry, and lopping over her eye; and her 
tongue was dry; she had bumped her thigh, 
and was bruised all over, well-nigh; but she 
had never learnt in her life to cry; nothing 
could ever induce her to try; so, she hopped 
right up, all gay and spry, not knowing where 
she was hurt, nor why; and began at once, 
her curler to ply. 

She found herself on the top of a swiftly- 
moving car, that soon brought her out of the 
subway, into the street again. 


156 


tippie’s vacation 


She was just about to enjoy the sights, 
when she noticed that the top of the car was 
covered with dust, cinders, and soot. 

Said she to herself: — “This will be a 
delightful place for my vacation when it is 
cleaned; it looks like a pretty big job for 
one, 

“But 1 am sure it's no use to shirk this kind of 
work; 

A vacation that leaves work undone , cannot he any 
fun.” 

She scraped the dust into rolls, and pushed 
it over the side; she dragged the cinders about 
till they began to slide; she made that sooty 
roof, a fit place for a ride. 

She had just finished, when the car stopped, 
and the conductor climbed up on the rear 
rail to adjust the trolley rope. 

He saw what Tippie had done and 
smiled. 

There were nine sluggards on the rear 
platform. 

The conductor whispered to each of them: 
— “Go to the ant, thou Sluggard!” was 
what he said. 


tippie’s vacation 


157 


And each of the nine sluggards climbed up 
and saw what Tippie had done. 

And Tippie was happy. 

What if she had had no vacation? She 
had taught nine Sluggards a beautiful lesson. 
No wonder she was happy! 



As she looked out upon the landscape, she 
saw among the roadside roses, her own home, 
and Miss Myra, standing at the door. 

The car started, but Tippie jumped, and 
landed in her own — little — ant attic. 

“ Welcome home ! ” said Miss Myra. 
“What have you seen?” 


158 


tippie’s vacation 


“Dirt!” 

“What! on your vacation?” 

“I haven’t had any vacation; I haven’t 
had time; I’ve had a good time, tho, and I’ve 
found out two things; — one is, that cleaning 
is my vocation ; — the other is, — if I must 
have a vacation, I shall take it at home, and — 
My Vocation shall be My Vacation ! ! !” 


I 


# 


THE SEA CIRCUS— A PUNNY STORY 


f 




t 


Below the swirl of the sea-green sea , 
Are tales to tell , and tails to see. 


THE cSEA CIRCUS 

A PON/NY STORY 

P UNNY — the little Sea-Urchin — was 
sound asleep when the old chug-chug 
boat went along. It left such a 
wake, it kept him awake. 

Punny was cross, for his spines were all 
criss-cross, and he had been jolted across the 
creek. He heard the old boat creak on her 
way down the creek to the sea — then he 
remembered the circus ! 

Cried he: “I cannot see the sea where it’s 
going to be, and I have never seen the scene 
where it’s going to been (Oh ! dear ! I mean — 
‘be’ !) — but I can smell it calling me, so I 
will start now.” 

Punny, having made up his mind, never 
waited to wash his face, or comb his spines, 
but, taking his sand-dollar, began the long 
journey to the sea-green, sea-salt sea. 

The dollar, being alive, was lively, and in 
twelve minutes, Punny had lost it thirty 


162 THE SEA CIRCUS — A PUNNY STORY 

times, and was beginning to lose his courage 
too, when he suddenly found a sea-purse! 
After that, he kept his dollar and his courage 
too, and made better time toward the sea- 
green sea; yet — before he had gone far, he 
met a YET ! 

Said Punny : “Well met — Yet ! Isn’t the 
water refreshingly wet? But where are you 
going, in such a pet?” 

Then the Yet began to fret: “I had the 
bad luck to get in a well-set net.” 

Said Punny: “That’s funny! But don’t 
give yourself up to vain regret! Forget the 
net ! If you hadn’t got out, you’d be there 
yet — Yet!” 

Punny was going to say more, but, at that 
moment, he ran into the Menhaden. 

“I beg your pardon,” in politest Urchin 
fashion. 

“No harm done,” was the gruff answer. 
“Have you seen my Ale-wife and Darter? 
We went to the circus, and were just going 
home, when I lost them both in the crowd 
and foam.” 

“I will go with you!” cried Punny, “and 
help you hunt for them ! ” Then, as he spined 
along as rapidly as he could to keep up with 



The Sea Circus 


\ 


164 THE SEA CIRCUS — A PUNNY STORY 

the Menhaden — 6 4 What ails your wife?” 
he said politely. 

The Menhaden flipped a fin, and let his 
tail trail: “Nothing ever ails an Ale-wife; 
words do not always mean as they sound; 
for instance — I have a sound inside me; 
I can hear a sound outside me; an open bay 
is called a Sound; and — all this is sound 
sense. I see my Ale-wife and Darter now 
— much obliged to you for your company — 
good-bye.” 

In a fin-flip, he was gone. 

Now Punny could see the sea-green sea, 
and taste the salt, and he knew the circus 
was near at hand. Yes ! There it was ! The 
ten tents; the ten tan tents, all of light 
brown sea-weed; and above, floating white, 
the banners and streamers of foam. 

Now, he could hear the band playing on 
the grand sand band stand; and now he 
could almost hear the wild animals’ roar 
outpour; and now — he was at the state 
gate. 

44 How much is a ticket?” he asked at the 
wicket. 

44 Fifty cents,” cried the Shark. 

44 Here’s a sand-dollar” — Punny was going 


THE SEA CIRCUS — A PUNNY STORY 165 


to say, but he only said “Here’s — ” for he 
found he had lost his sea-purse and sand- 
dollar — and immediately, his courage was 
gone too. 

An old Sea-Seer standing by, cried out: 
“Catch the little Urchin’s courage, and give 
it back to him ! ” 

A murmur arose from the crowd which was 
so big and loud, Punny’s courage didn’t dare 
to run away, but went back to him, to stick 
on him and stay. 

Now, Punny had his courage, to be sure, 
but, as he had no dollar, how was he going to 
get into the circus? Earn his fifty cents, to 
be sure ! 

“I suppose,” said an old finny and skinny 
Skate near by, “you’re willing to get fifty 
sents, one by one?” 

“Oh! yes!” said Punny, “any way will 
do.” 

“Well — then — ”, said the skinny and 
finny Skate — “go first to the cool pool and 
back.” Punny went as told, and found the 
cool pool very cold. 

“Now,” said the Skate, “go to Rock- 
weed Avenue for No. 2.” And Punny 
went. 


166 THE SEA CIRCUS — A PUNNY STORY 

“Now, for No. 3, find the Algae Tree.” 

Punny went as soon as sent, and he was 
soon so very intent on going and coming, he 
grew content, and lost the count of the single 
sent. 

At last, the Skate said: “Your task is done; 
this is the last and fiftieth one — and have you 
had lots of fun?” 

“But give me my money,” cried Punny ! 

“I promised no money,” answered the 
skinny and finny one. 

“Indeed, you were to give me fifty 
cents !” 

“And you had them! I sent you to the 
cool pool, and that was one s-ent, for you 
were the one sent; then, when you went to 
Rockweed Avenue, you were s-ent No. 2; 
and so on.” 

“Oh ! dear !” cried Punny; “it’s a mistake ! 
You sent me S sents, and I meant “C” 
cents ! !” 

“Perhaps,” said the old Skate, “if the ticket 
taker will not take the fifty S sents you were 
sent; he will take instead, this little bottle of 
essence. Go to the wicket, and, if he assents, 
quickly make your ascent to the two kinds of 
peak (peek) seat.” 


THE SEA CIRCUS — A PUNNY STORY 167 


Punny found himself in a short space of 
time in the two kinds of peek — peak 
seat. 

This was the best seat in the whole .circus; 
it was on the topmost peak of the center pole 
of the biggest tent, and, through a little rent 
in the tent, you could peek! That’s why it 
was the “Two-kinds-of-p-k Seat!!! 

Punny saw it all; 

The Sea-adder was there — 

Also, the Sea-bear; 

With one eye, he saw the Sea-ape 
Make good his escape — 

From the Sea-lion — 

While he kept his other eye on 
The Sea-hog 
See-saw 
On a log ! 

The Sea-circus band was on hand, and 
consisted of Flute-mouth, Pipe-fish, Drum- 
fish, and Fiddler Crab. 

They played a tune entitled : — 

My finny flies over the ocean. 

My finny flies over the sea . 


168 THE SEA CIRCUS — A PUNNY STORY 

Then began the grand race between the 
Scallop, the Cuttlefish, Sea-horse, and — criss- 
cross Crab. 

Scallop could only wallop; 

The Cuttle-fish — scuttle; 

The Sea-horse could leap — 

But — the criss-cross Crab could only — creep . 

The Crab won the race ! For the others all 
had to turn round at the end, before going 
back — and that took time; but the Crab 
didn’t know which end of him was front — so 
— he never stopped to turn round, and — won 
the race ! ! 

Then the band played the Wet Octet, and 
the Eel did a reel. 

Then came the great final feature of the 
performance. No feet were used in this 
great feature, by any creature ! 

The Quahog rode the trained Tautog, and 
jumped a log without a jog; while all the 
audience stood ago g. 

And then — when the mighty Quahog took 
the dainty Oyster, and ahigh did hoist her, 
all eyes grew moister — and more agog ! 

All this time, the Clam was playing the 


THE SEA CIRCUS — A PUNNY STORY 169 


clown. He was a great sham, pretending to 
drown ! 

The Circus was Over! 

Punny, the little Sea Urchin, went home, 
and stood all night long on his head — in the 
middle of his little white, soft, sand bed. 

Punny was Funny! 



MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 


A bit of a skit , — by a wit of a kit. 

To you , who love a pussy-cat , 
A-cosying by the fire; 

1 hope the purpose of this chat 
Is tuned to your desire. 



BY JOPPY 1 


I HAVE so many tales to tell, I don’t know 
how to begin; I may as well take my 
pen in paw, and scratch down the one 
tale I know best, — the tale of my tail. 

I know I shall mix in a lot of kitten-chatter, 
perhaps, some catnip cheer; a clause on 
claws; one on paws; but — pause — let them 
appear. 

My tail — you know — is the end of me. 
I think, if I am to tell my tale, I’d better begin 
at my beginning. 

My birth-place was a mow . 

My mother was a “meow” 

(Before I opened my eyes, I thought it was 
fur, but, it turned out to be mother, and I 
didn’t have to look further.) 

(See note at end) 


174 MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 

My mother's breast was soft and warm — 

A velvet — cuddley place ; 

She often clasped me to her heart , 

And kindly washed my face . 

So now , I do unto my own , 

In Cattendom , you see 
We cat-enate the golden rule, — 

I do what's done to me. 

I wonder if my kitkins like 
To have me tongue their fur. 

I used to wish my ma would stop. 

Yet, still, 1 kept my purr. 

{My temper, too.) 

At a very early age, I discovered my tail, 
and I have enjoyed chasing it ever since. 
I thought then, and I still think, there never 
was a more delightful plaything. I do so 
pity all children, because they have no tails. 
To roll in the hay, toss and tumble in a merry 
scramble to catch your elusive tip — what 
could be more fun ! 

Oh! those mow days! 

They were the hay -days of youth! 

Of course, if you have one, you must take 
care of it. Some children have wondered 


MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 


175 


why I wear my end in an upright manner, 
like a proudly carried banner? 

In the first place, if I let it drag along be- 
hind, and didn’t have it on my mind, it would 
get soiled or catch burrs. (Every kit knows 




how it is; I only infer that a burr in fur, 
generally goes in further.) 

In the second place, in going thro doors 
that sometimes shut with a bang, sad things 
have happened — to other cats — never to 
me; for I always wear my end in an upright 
manner, like a proudly-carried banner. 

I am old now — twelve — I think ! I feel 
that I am getting old because I don’t care to 


176 MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 

climb roofs as I did; but, if I can’t play as 
I once did, I never tire of sitting by the fire, 
and dreaming — with one eye open — of my 
young mow and meow-days. 

My wee ones , playing at my feet , 

Remind me of the day , 

When , in my kittenhood’s young dream, 

1 frolicked in the hay; 

Of how I chased my mother’s tail, 

With sister and with brother; 

How fer-vently her fur we sought, 

And tumbled o’er each other. 

Mother mewed many things to us, among 
them, our family history. I am descended 
from a long line of ancestors, called the fe-line. 
Among the Romans, I find my Cat-a-line. 
One of my forefathers was a Kilkenny Cat; 
one went into London Town on the shoulder 
of Dick Whittington; my most distinguished 
ancestor was the Black Cat worshiped by the 
Egyptians; and the greatest of all went 
into the Ark with Noah ! 

All this, and much more, mother mewed 
us, but, it never made us proud — not even a 
whisker to curl. We would sit before her and 


MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 177 

blink. She couldn’t tell, and no one has 
ever been able to tell what we did think. 

While I was still so very young 
My eyes were full of blinks, 

I chose my life-long policy, 

And I became a Sphinx. 

For all the ages ’ sages 

Have tied their brains in kinks. 

In vain, to solve the riddle. 

Of a little kit-cat’s thinks ! 

But I must not muse too much, or I shall 
fail to amuse. If I listen longer to my muse, 
you will have to listen longer to my mews. 

And the games ! Before my mew came, 
while my voice was only a weak little, meek 
little squeak, — with Sister Floppy, I learnt 
Hay-spy, — Hay-hide-and-seek, and Tail- 
tag. This is how we played Hay-spy. 

I would close one eye, and squeak: “One! Two !” 
And pretend I couldn’t see the view. 

Flop would scramble away, across the hay, 

And burrow a place in which to stay; 

When she squeaked “Ready!” I’d open my eye, 

And over the straw, I’d simply fly ! 

I’d poke the sweet grass , and toss it about, 

Till Flop would squirm but she wouldn’t come out 


178 


MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 


Then Yd stretch my neck and look all around 
And pretend that nowhere could she he found; 

Tho all the time, wiggle-waggle close by. 

The tiny tip of her tail 1 could spy ! 

Yd make believe she was not on the mow , 

And give a long and lonesome “ Yo-wl ” 

Then you should have seen her body wiggle , 

And all the hay round, begin to jiggle! 

Out she would bounce and homeward fly. 

And 1 to catch her, hard would try . 

Sometimes she won; sometimes — 7. 

One day, in the midst of a happy play, a 
little boy came and took me away. Without 
waiting for me to good-bye my mother, or 
to pat-paw my brother, he took me by the 
neck, and carried me to a house. Had I 
known then what I know now, — about 
claws — I would have scratched that boy ! 
In the Kitten-catechism, it says, — “Do not 
use claws without cause.” I did have cause. 

As the boy took me away, I cried as loud 
as I could: — “Meouther ! Mewther !” 

But I suppose mother could not stop a boy. 

As soon as I was put on the floor of the 
house, I played Puss-in-the-Corner. 

I tried every corner in that house till I got 
the darkest one. I was so frightened, I 


MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 179 

trembled, and my fur stuck out all over me, 
and would not tongue down. 

A lady came and said, 4 4 Pussy! Pussy! 
come Pussy !” I told her as plain as I could, 
that I didn’t want to come to her; I wanted 
to go my 4 4 mow-home,” and 44 meomother,” 
but she would not take me. 

She put butter on my toes, and by the 
time I had washed that off, I felt more at 
home. I have lived with these people ever 
since, and, altho they have their faults, such 
as making me wait for my dinner until after 
they have theirs, and talking to me when I 
want to sleep, I have had a pleasant home. 

At odd times, often at eventime, I sit by 
the fire and wonder about many things. 

When I see how stiff my human friends are, 
I am glad I am a cat — and bend easily. 
When I see how they have to wear the cast- 
off clothes of goats and lambs, I am glad I 
can always be well-dressed in my own hair. 
No one need give this cat -a comb, as long as 
she has a tongue. 

On the whole, I am very well pleased with 
my home; my master and mistress are the 
most — (The Private Secretary has taken 
the liberty here, to omit the encomi urns, 


180 MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 

Queen Joppy has showered upon her slaves. 
Note that she calls us her master and mistress ! 
She may not know it, but we are her slaves ! 
J. F. C.) 

This house is well planned to amuse any 
cat; there are so many places to pry into 
and crawl under; such dark closets; such 
pokey cellar stairs ; turny and twisty and out- 
of-the-way nooks — like unexplored night- 
mares. 

But — altho I have all these things; altho 
I am allowed to sharpen my claws on any rug, 
and to list to the music that I love; I some- 
times dream of a cat paradise; a land full of 
cream and mice, where cat-o’-nine tails wave 
on every side, and horrid dogs can not abide. 

Here 1 would state 
How much I hate 
The very name of DOG l 
I would erase 
The canine race 
From every cat-alogue! 

A cat paradise with a dog in it — would be 
PUR-gatory ! 

Oh ! — would this were a dogless world ! 


MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 181 

If some one would only make this world 
more cat-full; a place where a cat may sit on 
a wall, and caterwaul the whole category of 
cat calls, without having to stand a whole 
cataract of catapults; a land where every- 
thing comes up to the scratch, and no one 
ever says “SCAT!!!!” 

Dear me ! how mewsy I am ! I could un- 
wind many a yarn (!!!) and spin the stories 
of cellar and barn, till my tell-tale tail would 
falter and fail, and my nine lives merge into 
the one that goes away with the setting sun; 
but — should I further dream, you would 
demur; it’s time you heard my ending purr. 

Dear people all , if you love a cat, 

And pre- fer her fur laid smooth and flat — 
And smooth as silk; 

Kindness and milk 

Will help her to purr — and not to spat! 
To Purr is the pur port of my life. I purr. 

Not to fill my purse; but in the 
Pur suit 
Of happiness. 

Life — to be per fed, should be 

A perpetual purr of content. 

Come, — gather round me, — restless world — 

And learn from my content; 


182 MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 

Take note — the cunning of my tail — 

How comfortably 9 tis bent. 

And while I sit upon the rug , 

And gaze into the fire; 

Tell me if my love of home , 

Is tuned to your desire. 

Home can mean so many things; 

It sometimes is a flat; 

It often is a sunless one — 

And can be worse than that; 

But home is where the kettle sings , 

Or children play about; 

And when I choose to grace a hearth — 

That makes a home — no doubt ! 

Note. — Joppy was the name of a very real, 
and a very delightful little cat. I knew her 
well, having for eleven years lived with her, 
serving as her chef, head-gardener, court 
musician, general admirer, and private secre- 
tary. 

In each capacity, I could relate anecdotes. 
I could tell how she ran the whole house; 
took the warmest nooks for her own; de- 
manded the finest melons and cucumbers 
from the garden; and insisted on sitting upon 
the piano while it was being played. 


MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 


183 


She had a peculiar fondness for Mozart, 
to whose music she would listen for hours. 

If the weary performer stopped, she would 
jump down upon the keys, and tap them a 
few times, insisting upon an encore. 

When, of a winter evening, no music seemed 
to be forthcoming from the music-room, would 
sound a stirring call, not unmusical in effect, 
as impatient Joppy strode up and down the 
keys, trying to make the harmonies her soul 
demanded. Needless to say, the court musi- 
cian generally took the hint. 

As her life-long friend and admirer, I could 
dwell at length upon her remarkable beauty, 
her almost human intelligence, and her gentle 
disposition. 

That she behaved well in church, where 
she followed us, was in keeping with her 
character; as was also her posing among the 
Easter lilies, with a reverent up-look. 

That she could frolic in the snow, and rush 
out suddenly from dark corners as a surprise, 
but showed other phases. 

As her private secretary, I have tried to 
express her views. To translate the actions 
of her life, was not difficult, but the same 
cannot be said of her remarks, for altho 


184 


MEW-SINGS BY JOPPY 


she talked to me by the hour, and told me 
freely, all her thoughts: I know what I have 
written is only a sorry attempt; for — who, 
among humans, is able to interpret perfectly 
— the MEW Language? 



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